President Jeb Bush (NOPE)

And finally some French news, or as they call it in France, News. The first restaurant in Paris created exclusively for naked diners has announced it’s closing due to a lack of customers. It’s a shame. Is this a shock to anyone? Scalding hot soup and no pants do not mix. They obviously had some problems. It’s the first time in history that a health inspector has ever issued a rating of “NOPE.” --James Corden

The truth is that the odds of you winning are 290 million to 1. That means you are about as likely to win the Powerball as you are to ever hear the words “President Jeb Bush.” –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a great way to spend quality time with strangers outside gas stations

The jackpot is up, an enormous sum. Playing the Powerball is a great way to spend quality time with strangers outside gas stations. –Jimmy Kimmel

President Trump is having a historically bad week, which he kept going strong with a string of combative tweets this morning. He makes one good point. If we’re going to start taking down every monument that pays tribute to racists, we should probably take down every building with the name “Trump” on it. –Jimmy Kimmel

     

"I was watching the news on television earlier, and George Bush says the economy is in danger. Nothing gets past this guy! Wow! Like a steel trap." --David Letterman

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

you always want to pick the city with the steepest hills (these are from your staff)

People got to use a new technology when the ride-sharing service Uber introduced their self-driving cars to the city of San Francisco. Yeah, because when looking for a place to roll out an experimental driverless car, you always want to pick the city with the steepest hills. –James Corden

Google released their list of the most-searched phrases of 2016. The top-trending search terms were Powerball, Prince, Hurricane Matthew, and Pokémon Go. I think that sums up our priorities as Americans: money, celebrities, the weather, and playing games on our phones. –Jimmy Kimmel

Weed is definitely legal in Colorado

Jeb Bush has released a new ad showing clips of mean things Donald Trump has said on the campaign trail. He also released his new campaign slogan "I'm telling!" .” –Seth Meyers

A group in Colorado has set a new world record for largest sticker ball after combining enough decals to create a nearly 9 foot wide 232 pound ball which proves one thing: Weed is definitely legal in Colorado. .” –Seth Meyers

I kind of wish only one person had won the whole Powerball thing so we could have had somebody rich enough to become a real James Bond villain. –Jimmy Kimmel

You said we had a deal!

New polls found that Bernie Sanders is now ahead of Hillary Clinton among Democrats in both Iowa and New Hampshire. And even Hillary's lead in national polls is dwindling. I don't want to say Hillary is upset, but this morning she was spotted shouting into a volcano, "You said we had a deal!" –Jimmy Fallon

Bernie’s really picking up some momentum. In fact yesterday, he received an endorsement from the progressive website MoveOn.org. As opposed to, Jeb Bush, who was just endorsed by the website "No, seriously. MoveOn.org!" –Jimmy Fallon

The St. Louis Rams will be moving to L.A. and building a nearly $2 billion stadium here. Apparently the Rams intend to accomplish this by winning the Powerball. –Conan O’Brien

What channel is CDC?

This Powerball drawing is tomorrow night. The pot is up to $1.5 billion — a record, almost triple the previous jackpot. To put that in perspective, $1.5 billion is almost half of Oprah. –Jimmy Kimmel

The 84-year-old media mogul Rupert Murdoch this week proposed to 59-year-old former model Jerry Hall. Hall said yes because she didn’t feel like standing in line for Powerball tickets. –Seth Meyers

In the lead-up to tonight’s State of the Union address, House Speaker Paul Ryan accused President Obama of plotting to set verbal traps for Republicans. Responded Obama, "Losersayswhat?" –Seth Meyers

According to a new study by the CDC, women are more likely than men to experiment with same-sex partners. Said men, “What channel is CDC?” –Seth Meyers

McDonald’s is trying out a new concept restaurant in Hong Kong called McDonald’s Next, which features a 19-item salad bar including quinoa. It’s sure to have customers saying, “I’ll have a Big Mac." –Seth Meyers

recently named the stickiest mansion in America

During a Donald Trump rally yesterday, a man was kicked out for yelling, "This is boring." The man then went to a Jeb Bush rally and realized he owed Trump an apology. –Conan O’Brien

We all had to go to work this morning because none of us won the Powerball. Nobody has won the Powerball lottery since November. And the jackpot is now sitting at $1.4 billion. That's almost three days' worth of groceries from Whole Foods. –James Corden

The truth is that the odds of you winning are 290 million to 1. That means are you about as likely to win the Powerball as you are to ever hear the words “President Jeb Bush.” –James Corden

The Playboy Mansion is up for sale for $200 million. Yeah, you could own the house that was recently named the stickiest mansion in America. –James Corden