For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’ (which explains why Melania will live forever)

November 2022

“We all can breath a sigh of relief at the news that Democrats would keep control of the Senate following Catherine Cortez Masto’s victory in Nevada. Ah, turns out that ‘red wave’ was actually a blue splash, just as the maxi pad commercials foretold. Cortez Masto’s win means the Georgia runoff election will not determine control of the Senate, so Georgians will have to come up with a new reason to vote for Herschel Walker. For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’” —Stephen Colbert

“After a disappointing midterms performance, Republicans are rolling up their sleeves and coming together to pick a scapegoat and hurl them down an elevator shaft. Right now, knives are out for Senate minority leader and clinically depressed pudding Mitch McConnell and the Florida senator Rick Scott. Republican candidates are mad at McConnell for not telling the voters what the GOP would do if they got control of the Senate. And they’re madder at Rick Scott for telling voters what they would do if they got control of the Senate. Specifically, Scott discussed cutting social security and Medicare, which probably scared older voters. Most shocking of all, some of the GOP blame is going to the person who actually deserves it. That would be Donald Trump, whom one Republican strategist blamed for picking conspiracists to run for office, saying: ‘The MyPillow-ization of the GOP has been a disaster.’ To which Mike Lindell responded: use promo code ‘GOP-Disaster for 20% your next pillow sham!” —Stephen Colbert

“It was an emotional weekend for Trump, because he gave away a daughter and the Senate on the same night. Many of the candidates Trump endorsed wound up losing. Everything Trump touches dies, which explains why Melania will live forever.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

any place where you have to keep your voice down is a no-go for him (He’s got resting thrown-out face)

May 2021

“Mike Lindell, the founder and C.E.O. of My Pillow, was refused entry to a meeting of the Republican Governors Association in Nashville this week. Lindell has surely been thrown out of venues before: He’s got resting thrown-out face.” —Seth Meyers

“As a baby, his first words were, ‘But my friends are in there!’” —Seth Meyers

“Bars, libraries, children’s birthday parties — I mean, really, any place where you have to keep your voice down is a no-go for him.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Seven Secrets of Highly Successful People (a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup)

January 2021

“The last few days of any presidency is all about cementing your legacy and thanking those members of your administration who worked hardest to ensure your place in history. So, naturally, Trump met with the My Pillow guy and his notes on martial law and the Insurrection Act. Hmm, he seems just a little fascist-adjacent. You might want to rebrand as the Mein Pillow guy.” —Stephen Colbert

“Even more stupid, cruel ironies from the riot at the Capitol: a woman wearing a ‘spread love’ hat who shouted obscenities at police, supporters of a president who campaigned on a border wall scaling the walls of the Capitol, a Florida man photographed walking off with a Capitol lectern at a ‘Stop the Steal’ rally. The most tragic was the woman trampled to death by fellow rioters after she marched with a flag that read ‘don’t tread on me.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“You can actually bet on who Donald Trump will pardon, for real. And you know who the odds-on favorite is celebrity-wise? Lil Wayne, Trump’s buddy. They bonded over a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup.” — Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In other words, God exists and has a very good sense of humor about all of this (this humidity is killing my hair)

December 2020

President Trump’s would-be neighbors in Palm Beach, Florida, are opposing his plan to move to his Mar-a-Lago resort after he leaves the White House next month, citing the 1993 agreement Trump signed converting the property from a private residence into a social club. What an interesting turn of events. This started with Donald Trump’s father, who made his fortune evicting people from their homes; now it ends with his son getting evicted from not one, but two houses in one month. In other words, God exists and has a very good sense of humor about all of this.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I hope he winds up sharing a duplex in New Jersey with Rudy and the ‘My Pillow’ guy.” — Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Jimmy Dore: My Pillow CEO Urges People To Take Poison!

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the My Pillow (telling him the virus ovulates)

August 2020

“President Trump called Kamala Harris a ‘mad woman’. Man, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the My Pillow.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Trump’s tough on the phone, but if he really had guts, he’d say all that on ‘The View.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“Sleepy Joe and the Mad Woman. Sounds like the best indie band. It actually sounds like a band Morrissey would join after The Smiths.” —James Corden

“At this point, our best shot at Trump attacking Covid is someone telling him the virus ovulates.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Conservative pundits on Fox News are struggling to demean Kamala Harris, saying she’s too telegenic, but also too ambitious. The pick was surprising, then it was boring. She incarcerated too many black and brown people as California’s attorney general, but is too soft on crime. Poor Republicans, they’re so confused. Honestly, it’s kind of cute watching Republicans flail around trying to figure out the right talking points. It’s like when a litter of puppies is born but they haven’t opened their eyes yet.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”