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Showing posts with label Maya Angelou. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Maya Angelou. Show all posts

Monday, June 17, 2024

But still, like air, I'll rise (blondes and Hannity)


Fox News is dropping its slogan “fair and balanced.” Instead, it will be replaced with the more appropriate slogan “blondes and Hannity.” –Jimmy Fallon


Applebee's is offering $1 Long Island iced teas for the entire month of June. So if someone tells you they just spent $20 at Applebee's, get them to a hospital. --Jimmy Fallon


Kim Kardashian appears nude on the current cover of "GQ," with the headline "Kim as you've never seen her." Which I can only assume means in a library? –Jimmy Fallon


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Friday, June 2, 2023

I Am Waiting (poem by John Hulse)


Awards:

International Poet of Merit

Shakespeare Trophy of Excellence



I Am Waiting (for Lawrence)


I am waiting while you think

things over

and while I am waiting, I am tired 

of asking the rich to not eat us alive 

and I am waiting for my government 

to care about my health and safety 

instead of enriching the corporate 

profits of their friends

and I am waiting to see if the military

will turn its flesh melting machines 

on us for protesting child hunger 

on a Thursday

and I am waiting for Mr. Winter

to give me one last cold squeeze

and I am waiting for the man, 

whose waiting for his man 

whose waiting on a cup of coffee,

and is in no real hurry,

unlike me

and I am waiting to experience the love

that’s in my mind

and I am patiently waiting for 

the revolution to begin



I am waiting for a sermon, mounted 

or unmounted

and I am waiting for my government 

to stop trying to control me

and I am waiting to see if your heart is 

in the right place

and I am waiting for Mother Nature

to give us the Big Fuck You!

and I am waiting for you to take me now,

here as I am

and I am waiting to find out what I have

been missing

and I am waiting to find out for whom

the bell tolls

and I am waiting on the whippoorwill 

to protest becoming 

an endangered species

and I am waiting for the memory to fade

of me going down on her on a spiral

staircase in Connecticut

and I am waiting to bury the past 

in forgiveness

and I am waiting for the world to finally

give peace a chance


I am waiting for the orgasms 

of the anchorman

to die down as he describes 

the beauty of our weapons

and I am waiting for the names of

Epstein’s clients to be released,

and I am waiting to read 

the unredacted report 

on the Kennedy assassination

and I am waiting for an explanation

of what chemicals they used in their

fracking operation

that left 30,000 innocent and

healthy fish

DEAD on the shore

Oh, they don’t have to tell us

Because they wrote the laws

that said so

That’s why, asshole!

Thanks for asking

and I am waiting on Hemingway’s 

orange juice

Hold the shotgun

and I am waiting with only 

eight good fingers

and no money in my pockets

and I am waiting for the eyes in the hills

to finally come on down

and introduce themselves

and I am waiting to live in a country

where the FBI doesn’t initiate a plot

to kidnap the governor of Michigan

No, I’m NOT kidding


I am waiting for the United States

of America to add nine more states,

because 59 is a prime number, then we 

can truly be one nation, indivisible

and I am waiting for the 

great goddess Sheeba Storm

to perform her magic on me

and I am waiting while they try 

their best to manufacture consent 

for the next war

and I am waiting to feel 

those propaganda 

vibrations

and I am waiting to either 

sink or swim

and I am waiting for a big 

nothingburger with everything on it, 

side of onion rings,

and an ice cold root beer

and I have been waiting, 

it seems like forever

to find a way around 

the dreaded Catch-22

and I am waiting for them to 

finally free my Palestine


I am waiting for you to whisper sweet

nothings in my ear

and I am waiting for Brautigan, Bukowski

and Ginsberg to tell me their secrets

Sylvia, Emily and Maya are waiting

next door 

I will be calling on them soon,

if they will have me

and I am waiting on the check for

The Last Supper,

the restaurant was busy, 

I ended up tipping 23%

They seemed OK with it

and I am waiting to wake up 

in a land of real justice,

unlike the kind we have now

and I am waiting for the 

United States Congress

to feel shame 

for what they have done

and I am waiting for the poor 

to finally take their revenge

and I am waiting with the blood 

of one stubborn bastard 

in my pocket

and I am waiting to get off the exit 

near Bad Choice Road


I am waiting for the undertaker to pick up 

some speed

and I am waiting by and by lord, and in the 

sky lord, by and by

and I am waiting for the girl who truly

smells like teen spirit

and I am waiting to hear the final note

of this Louis Armstrong song

because it reminds me

of her perfection

and I am waiting to get out while

I still can

and I am waiting for the Fourth 

and Fifth Coming

and I am waiting for the people 

who were here before the pilgrims 

to finally take their country back

and I am waiting for our imagined enemies

to surrender


I am waiting to see if that tree that was 

standing by the water has been moved

Nope, Still there

and I am waiting to throw down my

heavenly burdens

and I am waiting for the military industrial

complex to cry uncle

and I am waiting for you and I to come to

some kind of arrangement

and I am waiting to finally have 

all my ducks lined up in a row

and I am waiting for our tears 

to bind us together

and I am waiting for the series finale

and I am waiting to put my spell 

on you

and I am perpetually awaiting 

the revolution,

televised or untelevised

and I am waiting for us all to finally 

and forever give peace

a chance


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’ (which explains why Melania will live forever)


November 2022

“We all can breath a sigh of relief at the news that Democrats would keep control of the Senate following Catherine Cortez Masto’s victory in Nevada. Ah, turns out that ‘red wave’ was actually a blue splash, just as the maxi pad commercials foretold. Cortez Masto’s win means the Georgia runoff election will not determine control of the Senate, so Georgians will have to come up with a new reason to vote for Herschel Walker. For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’” —Stephen Colbert

“After a disappointing midterms performance, Republicans are rolling up their sleeves and coming together to pick a scapegoat and hurl them down an elevator shaft. Right now, knives are out for Senate minority leader and clinically depressed pudding Mitch McConnell and the Florida senator Rick Scott. Republican candidates are mad at McConnell for not telling the voters what the GOP would do if they got control of the Senate. And they’re madder at Rick Scott for telling voters what they would do if they got control of the Senate. Specifically, Scott discussed cutting social security and Medicare, which probably scared older voters. Most shocking of all, some of the GOP blame is going to the person who actually deserves it. That would be Donald Trump, whom one Republican strategist blamed for picking conspiracists to run for office, saying: ‘The MyPillow-ization of the GOP has been a disaster.’ To which Mike Lindell responded: use promo code ‘GOP-Disaster for 20% your next pillow sham!” —Stephen Colbert

“It was an emotional weekend for Trump, because he gave away a daughter and the Senate on the same night. Many of the candidates Trump endorsed wound up losing. Everything Trump touches dies, which explains why Melania will live forever.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Sunday, January 16, 2022

And to prove it he took a 20-minute standing nap (losing the battle with his breakfast burrito)


January 2022

The late Maya Angelou has become the first black woman featured on the quarter. Which is not what black people mean when we demand change. —Michael Che

Domino’s is reducing the number of chicken wings included in their meals, and I really wish I had known that before I had my delivery guy fired for stealing. —Michael Che

President Biden gave a speech in Atlanta where he called on the senate to pass two voting rights bills saying, ‘I am tired of being quiet.’ And to prove it he took a 20-minute standing nap. —Michael Che

Minority leader Mitch McConnell, seen here, losing the battle with his breakfast burrito, criticized President Biden’s speech on voting rights calling it ‘beneath my office.’ Coincidentally, beneath his office is also where McConnell buries the homeless men he hunts for sport. —Michael Che

Pope Francis said this week that getting vaccinated against Covid is a moral obligation, especially since priests work so closely with kids. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry  


 

Monday, October 18, 2021

So kind of a bad news, good news day (as far away from Weiner as you can get)


September 2013

"Fox News opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence." –Jon Stewart 


"Today was the primary election for New York City mayor, and the new and improved iPhone came out. So kind of a bad news, good news day for Anthony Weiner." –Conan O'Brien


"If Christine Quinn wins the New York City mayoral race, she'll be the city's first lesbian mayor. Which is why her campaign slogan is, 'Christine Quinn: as far away from Weiner as you can get.'" –Conan O'Brien


"Today Syria agreed to a tentative plan to send all of its chemical weapons to Russia. Vladimir Putin said those weapons better not be gay." –Conan O'Brien


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”