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Tuesday, November 15, 2022

For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’ (which explains why Melania will live forever)


November 2022

“We all can breath a sigh of relief at the news that Democrats would keep control of the Senate following Catherine Cortez Masto’s victory in Nevada. Ah, turns out that ‘red wave’ was actually a blue splash, just as the maxi pad commercials foretold. Cortez Masto’s win means the Georgia runoff election will not determine control of the Senate, so Georgians will have to come up with a new reason to vote for Herschel Walker. For many of them, it will be, ‘he’s my dad!’” —Stephen Colbert

“After a disappointing midterms performance, Republicans are rolling up their sleeves and coming together to pick a scapegoat and hurl them down an elevator shaft. Right now, knives are out for Senate minority leader and clinically depressed pudding Mitch McConnell and the Florida senator Rick Scott. Republican candidates are mad at McConnell for not telling the voters what the GOP would do if they got control of the Senate. And they’re madder at Rick Scott for telling voters what they would do if they got control of the Senate. Specifically, Scott discussed cutting social security and Medicare, which probably scared older voters. Most shocking of all, some of the GOP blame is going to the person who actually deserves it. That would be Donald Trump, whom one Republican strategist blamed for picking conspiracists to run for office, saying: ‘The MyPillow-ization of the GOP has been a disaster.’ To which Mike Lindell responded: use promo code ‘GOP-Disaster for 20% your next pillow sham!” —Stephen Colbert

“It was an emotional weekend for Trump, because he gave away a daughter and the Senate on the same night. Many of the candidates Trump endorsed wound up losing. Everything Trump touches dies, which explains why Melania will live forever.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

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