Wow! I've been saying it wrong the whole time (David Trump)

Listen to this, Trump said that he'll shut down the government if Congress doesn't give him money for his border wall. So Democrats are just going to show Trump a photo of the Great Wall of China, and tell him it's already been built. --Jimmy Fallon

And get this, on Fox News last night, they showed all the finalists for Time magazine's Person of the Year, but there was a typo in someone's name. You had Putin. You have Blasey Ford, Robert Mueller and someone named David Trump. What? David Trump. David Trump? President Trump was like, “Wow! I've been saying it wrong the whole time." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

She says all vegetarians should go back to Vegetaria, where they came from (Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!)

"In her new book, 'Going Rogue,' Sarah Palin says she doesn't like vegetarians. Palin says all vegetarians should go back to Vegetaria, where they came from." –Conan O'Brien

"The White House has announced that they no longer recognize Fox as a news organization which puts them about eight years behind the rest of us." –David Letterman

"Earlier today, President Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China. He said it was, quote, 'magical' as opposed to two years ago, when former President Bush stood at the exact same spot and said, 'Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

How did you get the Mongols to pay for it? (I take money from lobbyists)

"The Democrats were in Chicago this weekend for a debate at the YearlyKos Convention. The YearlyKos, of course, is the annual convention of bloggers and other online activists dedicated to furthering progressive causes. 

It is not to be confused with the yearly Cos Festival celebrating the life and works of Bill Cosby. Would the candidates speak the Kos-overs' language? 

[on screen: John Edwards saying he and Barack Obama will not take donations from lobbyists]. Yeah, no more money from Washington lobbyists! If you agree, hit the donate button on your site. 

Hillary? [on screen: HRC saying she will continue to take money from lobbyists, but will not be influenced by them.] 

So, basically, Hillary Clinton's point is yes, I take money from lobbyists because they're real people with real needs, but don't worry, I don't listen to them." --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

It's like he never left (you know what I'm saying)

President Trump, on his first day back in the United States after a 12-day trip through Asia, started the morning with a flurry of tweets. Trump took to Twitter today to brag about the stock market, attack The New York Times, promote "Fox and Friends," promote Sean Hannity, criticize three UCLA basketball players, send his condolences after another multi-victim shooting to the wrong city in the wrong state. And that's it, I think. It's like he never left. –Jimmy Kimmel

The president hasn't weighed in on the biggest story of the week, Roy Moore. Donald Trump's in a real bind. On one hand, he doesn't want to support an accused pedophile for Senate. His other hand is grabbing a woman by the — you know what I'm saying. –Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

mostly false/false/pants on fire false (Moron Fake News Breasts)

The Senate Intel Committee, by the way, is busy right now looking into the fake news stories the Russians made up to help Trump win the election. The other irony is no one, no breathing human on planet Earth, produces more fake news than Donald Trump. This is Donald Trump’s rating on PolitiFact, the nonpartisan fact-checking organization: According to them only 5 percent of the things that come out of his mouth are true. More than two-thirds, 69 percent, are either mostly false, false, or pants on fire false. –Jimmy Kimmel

This is another chart, from The Washington Post. Over the last 232 days, Donald Trump has made 1,145 claims that are false or misleading. And that’s just the stuff he says in public. Donald Trump is a tornado of fake news. He’s the Michael Jordan, Elvis Presley, and Great Wall of China of fake news combined. Donald Trump criticizing fake news is like Hugh Hefner criticizing fake breasts. –Jimmy Kimmel

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

two nations divided by a vast ocean and connected by Wal-Marts (Great Wall)

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"In a speech welcoming the Chinese president to the White House, President Bush said the two nations are divided by a vast ocean and connected by Wal-Marts."  --Jay Leno

"During the big meeting [with Chinese President Hu], Vice President Cheney fell asleep, although the White House said he was just reading his notes. That's the same way he hunts: with his eyes closed. " --Jay Leno

"President Bush and Chinese President Hu said that our two countries are growing closer. In his speech, President Hu said China is providing more democracy and freedom for its people and President Bush said our government is moving closer to China's system of spying on people without warrants and holding people in jail without trials. Also, we're talking about building a 'Great Wall.'"  --Jay Leno

Because if there's one thing babies love..

"NASA released pictures of earth taken from 900 million miles away. From 900 miles away, you can make out the Great Wall of China. In Newark, you can make out Chris Christie." –David Letterman 

"The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of repeated artillery fire." –Conan O'Brien