The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house (Of course, my favorite, plan double-D/This factory is terrible)

Over the weekend, a man in Kentucky caught a 20-pound goldfish. The hard part will be flushing it down the toilet when it dies. Get the plunger. --Jimmy Fallon

But President Trump's got a lot going on. In the Oval Office today, he was asked if he had a backup plan if Venezuela's president doesn't step down. A reporter asked Trump, “If President Maduro stays in power, do you have a plan "B"?” Donald Trump, “I always have plan "B" and "C" and "D" and "E" and "F." Fallon as Trump, “We got Plan G. Preparation H. Of course, my favorite, plan double-D." --Jimmy Fallon

"Chinese President Xi Jinping is planning to make his first official state visit to the U.S. Although I'm worried it'll be a little awkward when he visits a school and says, 'This factory is terrible.'" –Jimmy Fallon

And tomorrow, Auntie Anne's is offering a special on heart-shaped pretzels. That's a great deal for all you hopeless romantics taking your dates to LaGuardia. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”