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Friday, February 14, 2020

It's about time the working class won that war (So it’s more like first)


“The New Hampshire primary was last night and according to cable news, here’s what happened: Bernie Sanders won, but not by a lot, so it’s really like third, and Pete Buttigieg was second, but who saw that coming? So it’s more like first. And Amy Klobuchar was third, which is really surprising so it’s also like first, and Joe Biden came in fifth, but was expected to do better, so it’s more like eighth. So I guess the real winner is Andrew Yang, because he dropped out and doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. So, congratulations, Andrew Yang, on winning New Hampshire.” —Seth Meyers

“Bernie Sanders finished first, Pete Buttigieg finished second and Joe Biden is finished.” —Jimmy Fallon

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


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