May 2011
"The world was supposed to end last Saturday but at the last minute, it was picked up for another season." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Some people sold all their possessions to prepare for Judgment Day. They're idiots. If the world does end, what are you going to do with your money? Walmart is closed." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Harold Camping has shifted his prediction of the apocalypse from May 21 to October 21, which is great because now I don't have to buy a Halloween costume." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Apparently the Rapture is being produced by the same people that produced 'Spider-Man the Musical.'" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Oprah's show is ending. I tried to get my doctor to euthanize me, but the co-pay was ridiculous." –Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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