“Bernie Sanders himself has bristled at his frontrunner status, although it should be noted that he does not care about status – he has one suit that he irons by running it over with his car, I guess; he shoots lay-ups with two hands, and he’s been photographed in the middle seat in coach – that is the only time he’s been centrist.” —Seth Meyers
“In Saturday’s Nevada caucus, in which Sanders won with a diverse coalition of, according to the New York Times, ‘immigrants, college students, Latina mothers, young black voters, white liberals and even some moderates’. And because it was Nevada, he also picked up votes from blackjack dealers, Cirque du Soleil, and that one guy sitting alone at the prime rib buffet muttering, ‘How am I going to tell Marjorie?’” —Stephen Colbert
“The contest was also a boost for Joe Biden, whose flagging campaign finished second. ‘We’re alive and we’re coming back and we’re gonna win,’ Biden told supporters afterward. It was a solid effort, but bragging that you’re alive may not be the most stirring campaign rally, donning Biden’s signature aviator glasses: ‘Folks, we’re breathing on our own, the tubes are out, the pants are on. This morning I had a whole thing of applesauce, now sponge-bathe me and roll me towards South Carolina.’” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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