David Letterman's "Top Ten Harold Camping Excuses"
(For the Rapture Not Happening)
10. "Rapture got rained out"
9. "Forgot to carry the 1"
8. "Dates got screwed up because of the Jewish holidays"
7. "Que?"
6. "Hold on, God's texting me . . . Yeah, it's been postponed"
5. "Don't blame me! I voted for Kucinich"
4. "To prevent bear attack, be sure to suspend all food and trash in a tree. I'm sorry, that's from ‘Top Ten Wilderness Camping Tips’"
3. "At 89, I can't remember how to operate the toaster"
2. "Didn't everybody's world end when ‘Oprah’ was canceled?"
1. "I'm crazy"
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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