Wait. We only hired a hundred clowns (Oh, crap. It's December 26th)

And finally, according to a new study, people living in colder regions are more likely to be heavy drinkers. Said Santa, "Oh, crap. Oh, crap. It's December 26th." --Seth Meyers

This year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade featured over 42,000 different costumes, or, as that's also known, one Lady Gaga show. And I heard that the parade had over 1,000 clowns, and it got creepy when Macy's said, "Wait. We only hired a hundred clowns." --Jerry Seinfeld

Today, the people of Massachusetts, where the first legal marijuana dispensaries opened and in the town of North Hampton, the first person in line to purchase weed was the mayor. There’s no word if the mayor used the marijuana, but he did spend the first twenty minutes of a press conference giggling about how Massachusetts has the word “ass” in it.  --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”