You know you're having a bad year when your birthday wish is to be back in a spider hole (Bush asked if he can sit on Dick Cheney's lap)

This week federal officials entered a Wisconsin classroom and seized several giant African land snails because they're considered a health hazard. Officials rounded up the snails after a two-second chase. --Conan O’Brien 4/27/2004

President Bush is receiving some criticism because tomorrow when he testifies before the 9/11 Commission. Bush is insisting that Dick Cheney be allowed to testify with him. Not only that he asked if he can sit on Dick Cheney's lap. --Conan O’Brien 4/28/2004

Big news ladies and gentlemen. It's Saddam Hussein's birthday today. You know you're having a bad year when your birthday wish is to be back in a spider hole. That is the good old days to him. --Conan O’Brien 4/28/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”