She was one of the most expensive disasters for you, personally (once they have electricity to turn on their TVs)

At the beginning of the speech, he listed some of the natural disasters we've endured this year. [clip of Trump] "We have endured floods and fires and storms." And Stormys! Don't forget her! She was one of the most expensive disasters for you, personally. --Stephen Colbert

"To everyone still recovering in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands – everywhere — we are with you, we love you, and we always will pull through together, always." That is going to be a comforting message to the people of Puerto Rico, once they have electricity to turn on their TVs. --Stephen Colbert

And he followed up on that: "If there is a mountain, we climb it. If there is a frontier, we cross it. If there is a challenge, we tame it. If there is an opportunity, we seize it." And if there's a burger, we eat it. If there's an immigrant, we deport it. If there's an investigation, we undermine it. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I guess Melania didn't want anything from the Burger King drive-through (And the president was there, too)

There were some bright spots in [Trump's State of the Union] speech. There were really some heartwarming moments. Some amazing people were there in the gallery. Congressman Steve Scalise, who survived an attack on that softball field. A police officer who saved the baby, a young boy who's putting flags on soldiers' graves, the families who have gone through unspeakable tragedies. Honestly, some of the most beautiful, most impressive Americans you could imagine. And the president was there, too. --Stephen Colbert

Here's one unusual thing we found out right before the speech – the first lady traveled to the speech in a separate car. I guess Melania didn't want anything from the Burger King drive-through. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Logan Paul on no longer being worst thing on YouTube! (Groucho Marxism, pt. 8)

President Trump's State of the Union address was available to stream live. So, congrats to Logan Paul on no longer being worst thing on YouTube! --Seth Meyers

Earlier tonight was President Trump's first State of the Union address. But there was a slight hitch leading up to it. Take a look at how they spelled State of the Union on the official tickets: State of the "Uniom." This is how divided the union is right now: We can't even agree on the correct spelling of union. --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Viagra for Bob. Viagra for Bob (He cray)

After Trump's speech, Massachusetts Congressman Joe Kennedy became one of the youngest people to give the Democratic response. And you could tell he was young when all he said was, "He cray." --Jimmy Fallon

Today Amazon announced it's creating its own healthcare company. That's kind of awkward getting healthcare from Amazon. Especially when a drone flies over your house and says "Viagra for Bob. Viagra for Bob." --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I'll be speeching on miny imported topix, witch I'll read off a telescope (I appreesheate yer serpent)

I guess most of Trump's State of the Union address was written by his adviser, Stephen Miller. While the rest of Trump's presidency was written by Stephen King. --Jimmy Fallon

Tickets to the State of the Union had to be reprinted after they originally said State of the "Uniom." Even the guy who sent out that false missile alert in Hawaii was like, "How do you mess that up?" --Jimmy Fallon

That's not all. There was actually a message from Trump on the back of the ticket as well. Take a look. It said, "I, Donald J. Turnip, invite you to my Stape of the Onion. This will be my first hairdress to Congested, and I'll be speeching on miny imported topix, witch I'll read off a telescope. I appreesheate yer serpent." --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Applause, good evening, applause (Mickey Mouse head bounce)

Tonight was President Trump's first State of the Union. And I saw that Trump read his speech off a teleprompter. You could tell because he began by saying, "Applause, good evening, applause." --Jimmy Fallon

To make sure he stayed on track, his staff had a little Mickey Mouse head bounce over the words like a sing-along song. --Jimmy Fallon

But experts said it was a very historic State of the Union. You know, because it marked the first time since taking office that Trump went a full hour without tweeting. --Jimmy Fallon

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

I think we all know how much Melania loves world economic forums (How can you tell?)

In other White House news, a recent article revealed that Melania Trump was blindsided by the story about her husband having an affair with a porn star and that she is "furious." In fact, she was so upset, Melania chose to stay home instead of accompanying her husband to the World Economic Forum last week. Which had to be tough, because I think we all know how much Melania loves world economic forums. --Conan O’Brien

I don't know if I believe this article. They said Melania was furious. How can you tell? She always looks furious. --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

So, this year's rebuttal was given by Melania (I may have to look for a new wife soon)

President Trump gave his State of the Union address, and as per tradition, someone who opposes the president gave the rebuttal. So, this year's rebuttal was given by Melania. --Conan O’Brien

President Trump's approval rating is above 50 percent in just a handful of states. Those states include Georgia, Mississippi, and Denial. --Conan O’Brien

Trump said he now supports a plan for young immigrants to become citizens. When asked why, Trump said, "Because I may have to look for a new wife soon." --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Majority Report: How Chuck Schumer Totally Botched EVERYTHING During The Government Shutdown

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984. 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Majority Report: Definitely Lyin' Ted's Most Blatant, Shameless Lie Yet

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984. 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Jimmy Kimmel’s FULL INTERVIEW with Stormy Daniels

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984. 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Humanist Report: Why the Government Might Shutdown AGAIN

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Humanist Report: Will the Democratic Party Give Bernie Sanders a Fair Shot in 2020?

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Jimmy Dore: Hillary Clinton Protected Sexual Harasser Inside Her Campaign

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Stephen Colbert Goes Live After Trump's State Of The Union

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

But we found a scrap of scruple! (So that interview might be awkward)

Anyway, I’m looking forward to the speech. Almost as much I’m looking forward to his interview with Robert Mueller. Since last we met, we learned that Trump tried to fire Mueller last June. So that interview might be awkward. --Stephen Colbert

Now, ultimately, Trump didn’t fire Mueller because White House legal counsel Don McGahn “refused to ask the Justice Department to dismiss the special counsel, saying he would quit instead.” There was a time when I thought nobody in the White House had any scruples. But we found a scrap of scruple! --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

With Doland Trunk as your predisent, every mang, woban, and chilm will know: The state of our uniom is strug!

Tomorrow night is President Trump’s first State of the Union address. He’s not scheduled to appear in front of Congress again until the impeachment hearings. --Stephen Colbert

The administration wants to showcase what the country is like now that Republicans are in charge of everything. And they may have done just that, because they sent out these actual tickets to see the State of the Uniom. Now they’re reprinting the tickets, and they’re going to recall the old ones — which could be tough, because I’ve seen members of the Trump administration testify, and they can’t recall ANYTHING. But maybe, just maybe, it’s not a typo. He said he would change things. Maybe tomorrow WILL be the first State of the Uniom. “My fellow Anericams: With Doland Trunk as your predisent, every mang, woban, and chilm will know: The state of our uniom is strug!” --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

That must have made Trump so mad to see Hillary showing off how she can read (Fire and Fury)

And there was even a surprise cameo from Trump’s archenemy and wedding guest, Hillary Clinton, who appeared in a sketch reading from “Fire and Fury.” That must have made Trump so mad to see Hillary showing off how she can read. --Stephen Colbert

But all the politics in last night’s show upset UN Ambassador Nikki Haley. She tweeted, “I have always loved the Grammys, but to have artists read the ‘Fire and Fury’ book killed it. Don’t ruin great music with trash. Some of us love music without the politics thrown in it.” She just wants to take us back to when music was less political. You know, John Lennon, Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan, N.W.A. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Not the first time Trump and logic have been at odds (then lose ’em both to John Oliver)

Who here watched the Grammys last night? The big winner was Bruno Mars, whose “24K Magic” won both Album of the Year and Record of the Year. That’s a neat trick. At next year’s Emmys, I hope we’re nominated for Best Late Night Comedy Show and Best Comedy Show in Late Night. It’s a twofer. And then lose ’em both to John Oliver. --Stephen Colbert

It was a pretty political show last night. A lot of artists called out Trump’s immigration policy, including Camila Cabello, U2, and the rapper Logic. Not the first time Trump and logic have been at odds. --Stephen Colbert

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Or as your mom knows them: who, who, who, who and SZA (that sort of noise feels very selfish on your part)

It was a busy weekend for me. I was hosting the 60th annual Grammy Awards in New York last night. [audience cheers, claps] OK, I just want to say right off the top, I went out last night, and I drunk quite a lot. And then I flew straight to L.A. at 7 this morning, so that sort of noise feels very selfish on your part. --James Corden

Alessia Cara won the award for best new artist. She was up against Khalid, Julia Michaels, Lil Uzi Vert and SZA. Or as your mom knows them: who, who, who, who and SZA. --James Corden

In other news, former Trump staffer and one-time “Apprentice” contestant Omarosa took a new gig this week. It was announced she will be joining the cast of “Celebrity Big Brother.” From Trump’s White House to CBS’s “Big Brother” house — by any standard that’s a promotion. --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html