"Ex-head of FEMA
Michael Brown will be addressing Congress about the response to Katrina. Yeah,
apparently he's almost ready to send help down there." --David Letterman
"The Senate offices
were evacuated when they found a suspicious substance. Turned out it was just
Ted Kennedy's margarita salt." --David Letterman
"It's time for me to
give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner
was elected just a few days ago to reform House Republicans, who are feeling
the heat from lobbyist scandals. Well, CNN found out that he rents his
two-bedroom apartment from a lobbyist who had clients who had interests in
legislation that Boehner sponsored. And for that, Mr. Boehner, you've just won
a pair of Stephen Colbert's big brass balls." --Stephen Colbert
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