https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Saturday, August 28, 2021
Why alien abductions happen only at night (if only there was some way to mellow that guy out)
May 2013
"A man arrested for shooting at the White House says he was upset over U.S. marijuana laws. Man, if only there was some way to mellow that guy out." –Stephen Colbert
"Here’s the week’s only good news: Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York City. He announced it earlier today in his underpants." –David Letterman
"Martha Stewart signs with Match.com to find her Mr. Right. She's getting tips from the CEO there. Wait, isn't that insider dating?" –David Letterman
"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in trouble. He was arrested this week for threatening to expose some sensitive government secrets. And you can tell it's serious. His bail was set at 200 goats." –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
That would have changed Thanksgiving, don't you think? (How am I supposed to make my meth?)
May 2013
"An elementary school here in New York City has become the first school in the country to serve only vegetarian food. Apparently the school board wants to give kids a head start in being difficult at restaurants." –Jimmy Fallon
"So they're handing out hussy pills to 15-year-old girls like Chicklets, but I still need to show my passport and provide a DNA sample to buy some damned Sudafed. How am I supposed to make my meth?" –Stephen Colbert
"Researchers now believe the first settlers who settled in America, in Jamestown, resorted to cannibalism. The first settlers ate each other. Good thing that didn't catch on. That would have changed Thanksgiving, don't you think?" –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Friday, August 27, 2021
He advised them to pay for it by inheriting millions of dollars (It's like being married to a Kardashian)
May 2013
"Mitt Romney gave a commencement speech where he advised graduates to start a family before they turn 30. He also advised them to pay for it by inheriting millions of dollars." –Conan O’Brien
"It's been two years since the SEAL team busted in and got Osama bin Laden. On the night of the raid, the guy never knew what hit him. It's like being married to a Kardashian." –David Letterman
"Vice President Joe Biden's plane is apparently stuck in Arizona because of problems with its engine. Officials say they're trying to fix it as fast as they can. But Obama was like, 'No rush.'" –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
Jimmy Dore: What Will Trigger Revolution In America? w/Chris Hedges
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
To make sure it closes quickly, they're turning it into a Blockbuster Video (that's supposed to be good news)
April 2013
"Yesterday President Obama said that the prison at Guantanamo Bay needs to be closed. To make sure it closes quickly, they're turning it into a Blockbuster Video." –Conan O'Brien
"New York City is testing a new plan that would make the average school day longer by over two hours. Parents haven't commented on the plan yet because they're busy high-fiving everyone they know." –Jimmy Fallon
"A new study found that the air quality in New York City subways is actually the same quality as the air in New York streets. Even crazier, that's supposed to be good news." –Jimmy Fallon
"Conservatives like me know that in a budget crisis, everything nonessential has to go -- whether it's food for kids who aren't mine or some other stuff for people I don't know." –Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
The service took forever, I was there for 25 years (Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!)
April 2013
"Today Jason Collins, center for the Washington Wizards, announced he is gay. He said, 'I don't know what's been tougher on my family, announcing I'm gay or announcing that I play for the Washington Wizards.'" –Conan O'Brien
"There's a trend now of prison inmates reviewing their prison on Yelp. The downside is that people are now committing crimes just to get the amazing fish tacos at Rikers Island." –Conan O’Brien
"Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow. She's the most beautiful woman alive, according to People magazine. I thought to myself, 'Wow. Thank god, finally some hope for good-looking, thin blondes.' Gwyneth, by the way, still has to be confirmed by Congress." –David Letterman
"They are now reviewing prisons on Yelp. Although you do get your standard restaurant gripes, like 'service took forever, was there for 25 years." –Stephen Colbert
"We all know that if you look up Congress in the dictionary it says, Do-nothing f**ktards who couldn’t solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first." –Jon Stewart
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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