The service took forever, I was there for 25 years (Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam!)

April 2013

"Today Jason Collins, center for the Washington Wizards, announced he is gay. He said, 'I don't know what's been tougher on my family, announcing I'm gay or announcing that I play for the Washington Wizards.'" –Conan O'Brien

"There's a trend now of prison inmates reviewing their prison on Yelp. The downside is that people are now committing crimes just to get the amazing fish tacos at Rikers Island." –Conan O’Brien

"Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow. She's the most beautiful woman alive, according to People magazine. I thought to myself, 'Wow. Thank god, finally some hope for good-looking, thin blondes.' Gwyneth, by the way, still has to be confirmed by Congress." –David Letterman

"They are now reviewing prisons on Yelp. Although you do get your standard restaurant gripes, like 'service took forever, was there for 25 years." –Stephen Colbert

"We all know that if you look up Congress in the dictionary it says, Do-nothing f**ktards who couldn’t solve a problem if it was eating them alive anus first." –Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”