To make sure it closes quickly, they're turning it into a Blockbuster Video (that's supposed to be good news)

April 2013

"Yesterday President Obama said that the prison at Guantanamo Bay needs to be closed. To make sure it closes quickly, they're turning it into a Blockbuster Video." –Conan O'Brien

"New York City is testing a new plan that would make the average school day longer by over two hours. Parents haven't commented on the plan yet because they're busy high-fiving everyone they know." –Jimmy Fallon

"A new study found that the air quality in New York City subways is actually the same quality as the air in New York streets. Even crazier, that's supposed to be good news." –Jimmy Fallon

"Conservatives like me know that in a budget crisis, everything nonessential has to go -- whether it's food for kids who aren't mine or some other stuff for people I don't know." –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”