There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans (At least he lived long enough to see the Royal Wedding)

"Quite a weekend! Did you folks enjoy Osama bin Laden's season finale? At least he lived long enough to see the Royal Wedding." –David Letterman

"How about those Navy Seals. We're getting our money's worth there. They broke into Osama bin Laden's compound with 12-foot walls topped by barbed wire, and fired a warning shot into his head." –David Letterman

"There's already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans." –David Letterman 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm sorry, but two wings seemed pretty freaking redundant (History Lesson for Trump)

Listen to this -- in a speech today, Vladimir Putin said Russia would use its new hypersonic missiles that can fly nine times the speed of sound. Yeah, of course, if he targets New York, they'll still have to circle over LaGuardia for a few hours before they can strike. --Jimmy Fallon

Oh, this isn't good. Guys, today, Southwest had to cancel hundreds of flights due to mechanical problems. Yeah, the CEO of Southwest was like, "I'm sorry, but two wings seemed pretty freaking redundant." --Jimmy Fallon

This is crazy. The other day, strong tailwinds caused a commercial flight from L.A. to London to go faster than the speed of sound. Yeah. The pilot was like, "On your left is the Hollywood sign, and on your right is...Buckingham Palace?" --Jimmy Fallon

Check this out. I read about a vegan woman who recently got married and banned all meat-eaters from her wedding. Then her friends and family were like, "Oh, no, we're not allowed at your vegan wedding? Oh. Bummer." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wait, so are you telling me the makeup I've been eating has meat in it? (Let me run your economy)

The crayon company Crayola has launched a new line of makeup based on its crayon colors. People who've tried the Crayola makeup say the colors are great, but they did have trouble staying inside the lines. --James Corden

Crayola says their new line of makeup is completely vegan. Wait, so are you telling me the makeup I've been eating has meat in it? --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

JOKES: Set the Nation Backward Day (Miami to New York in 16 minutes)

Thirty-one pounds of cocaine have been found hidden in the nose of an American Airlines jet. Authorities became suspicious when the plane flew from Miami to New York in 16 minutes. –Conan O’Brien

January 31st is National Backward Day. Not to be confused with January 20th, which was Set the Nation Backward Day. –James Corden

The world’s first supermarket chain to only sell vegan foods, which was called Veganz with a “z,” has announced they will have to declare bankruptcy and shut all their stores. When asked what went wrong, the vegan supermarket said, “Well, we’re a vegan supermarket.” –James Corden