Listen to this -- in a speech today, Vladimir Putin said Russia would use its new hypersonic missiles that can fly nine times the speed of sound. Yeah, of course, if he targets New York, they'll still have to circle over LaGuardia for a few hours before they can strike. --Jimmy Fallon
Oh, this isn't good. Guys, today, Southwest had to cancel hundreds of flights due to mechanical problems. Yeah, the CEO of Southwest was like, "I'm sorry, but two wings seemed pretty freaking redundant." --Jimmy Fallon
This is crazy. The other day, strong tailwinds caused a commercial flight from L.A. to London to go faster than the speed of sound. Yeah. The pilot was like, "On your left is the Hollywood sign, and on your right is...Buckingham Palace?" --Jimmy Fallon
Check this out. I read about a vegan woman who recently got married and banned all meat-eaters from her wedding. Then her friends and family were like, "Oh, no, we're not allowed at your vegan wedding? Oh. Bummer." --Jimmy Fallon
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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