In fact today, Vice President Dick Cheney shot Cupid in the face (Oh My God!!! We're you hurt?)

"Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack . . . not a lot of name recognition. I don't want to say that Tom is unknown, but his secret service codename is Tom Vilsack." --Jay Leno

"Al-Qaeda released another video tape from their No. 2 man. This one had a shocking revelation: "The great Satan will soon taste unspeakable suffering from our hands . . . Oh, and by the way, I am the father of Anna Nicole's baby." --Jay Leno

"It's hard to believe the No. 1 story, bigger than Iraq, Iran, the social life of Britney Spears, is still Anna Nicole Smith. CNN has officially changed their name this week to CN-Anna." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Even in Washington, everybody's into Valentine's Day. In fact today, Vice President Dick Cheney shot Cupid in the face." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the first person in South Dakota to see a black man (they are going to re-invade Margaritaville)

"Here is a little difference between our country and Great Britain: Prince Harry -- third in line to the Royal Throne -- he's going to Iraq. He's going to be in a tank unit. On the other hand, the Bush twins are getting tanked ... and they are going to re-invade Margaritaville." --Bill Maher

"Democratic presidential candidate Tom Vilsack announced today he has dropped out of the race. The reason cited? He's Tom Vilsack. ... Now the hard part? Telling his supporter" --Jay Leno

"Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack announced today he's dropping out of the 2008 presidential race. Vilsack said he dropped out because he has incredibly low name recognition, and that was among his wife and children." --Conan O'Brien

"Presidential candidate Barack Obama was endorsed by former Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota. Daschle is the first major Democrat to endorse Obama, and the first person in South Dakota to see a black man." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Experts say it's because he failed to attract a very important demographic group when you're running for president (P E O P L E)

"Angelina Jolie is joining the prestigious Council on Foreign Relations. In a related story, Kofi Annan will be playing the role of Lara Croft in 'Tomb Raider 3.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The U.S. government has hired several psychics to help find Osama bin Laden. So far the psychics haven't been able to locate bin Laden, but they do predict soon he'll find true love." --Conan O'Brien

"Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack ... has dropped out of the presidential race. Experts say it's because he failed to attract a very important demographic group when you're running for president -- people." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm just excited an entertainment executive and former agent can still recognize when somebody is lying (Intelligence? That's two words)

"Mitt Romney says he plans to differentiate himself from President Bush with a single word -- 'intelligence.' When he heard this, President Bush said, 'Intelligence? That's two words.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Since former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack dropped out of the presidential race four days ago, Vilsack supporters are divided about which candidate to support now. Apparently, one guy likes Obama and the other guy's backing Hillary." --Conan O'Brien

"A major tussle involving the two frontrunners -- Hillary Clinton (D-New York) and Barack Obama (D-licious). Our tale begins last week when Hollywood mogul David Geffen insulted Senator Hillary Clinton. This time Geffen isn't supporting the candidate named Clinton. In fact, Geffen recently held a $100 million fundraiser for Obama and was quoted in the New York Times calling Hillary Clinton 'polarizing', and said, 'Everybody in politics lies, but they do it with such ease, it's troubling.' I'm just excited an entertainment executive and former agent can still recognize when somebody is lying." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Thank God that kind of thing can't happen today (He said it was the best 12 hours of his life)

"In an announcement in South Carolina, Joe Biden, who is running for president, says he plans now to speak at more places, but to smaller crowds. Oh yeah, like it's his choice." --Jay Leno

"Tom Vilsack, who just dropped out of the presidential race, was on TV to talk about his presidential campaign. He said it was the best 12 hours of his life." --Jay Leno

"The CIA has released some documents that detail illegal and scandalous activities they were involved in more than 30 years ago. The activities include wiretapping of phones, warrantless searches and opening citizens' mail. Thank God that kind of thing can't happen today." --Jay Leno

"The Pentagon is admitting it did experiment with a gay bomb. They say it's no big deal. They were experimenting for the weekend. The wives were out of town. They were just curious. I was told alcohol might have been involved." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Secret Service code names...

"Today was the first and only day of confirmation hearings for his replacement Robert Gates. The committee immediately confirmed the guy. They really only had one question: Are you now or have you ever been Donald Rumsfeld? He said, 'No.' He showed them his driver's license and utility bill, and boom, they confirmed him." --Stephen Colbert

"Big problem in Malibu. A thirty-foot sink hole opened up on the Pacific Coast Highway. You thought President Bush was slow getting federal aid to rebuild New Orleans? How long do think it's going to take to bail out Barbra Streisand?" --Jay Leno

"Now three schools are in the running for the George Bush presidential library. I understand the losing school will get it." --Jay Leno

"Indiana Senator Evan Bayh announced he is starting a presidential exploratory committee. Right now the two Democrats throwing their hat in the ring are Tom Vilsack and Evan Bayh. To give you an idea of how unknown these guys are, their Secret Service code names are Tom Vilsack and Evan Bayh." --Jay Leno