Somehow this is all your fault (the same deal as the cast of Friends)

In a recent interview Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said that American politics is becoming meaner and meaner. After hearing this a top Republican said Daschle makes a good point for a guy who's ugly and probably gay. --Conan O’Brien 5/12/2004

Today defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld, there's a cheery fellow, now Rumsfeld told senators that the Geneva Convention on prisoners rights applies in Iraq but not for prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay. When asked what the difference was Rumsfeld said nobody has pictures of Guantanamo Bay.  --Conan O’Brien 5/12/2004

I got some television news this week. The miniseries Jesus became one of the first shows ever to beat an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It's a big deal in television. And immediately afterwards Jesus renegotiated his contract and demanded the same deal as the cast of Friends. --Conan O’Brien 5/17/2000

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the first person in South Dakota to see a black man (they are going to re-invade Margaritaville)

"Here is a little difference between our country and Great Britain: Prince Harry -- third in line to the Royal Throne -- he's going to Iraq. He's going to be in a tank unit. On the other hand, the Bush twins are getting tanked ... and they are going to re-invade Margaritaville." --Bill Maher

"Democratic presidential candidate Tom Vilsack announced today he has dropped out of the race. The reason cited? He's Tom Vilsack. ... Now the hard part? Telling his supporter" --Jay Leno

"Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack announced today he's dropping out of the 2008 presidential race. Vilsack said he dropped out because he has incredibly low name recognition, and that was among his wife and children." --Conan O'Brien

"Presidential candidate Barack Obama was endorsed by former Senator Tom Daschle of South Dakota. Daschle is the first major Democrat to endorse Obama, and the first person in South Dakota to see a black man." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”