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Showing posts with label Hustler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hustler. Show all posts

Monday, March 31, 2025

This guy's skull is emptier than a theater showing Snow White (At least she had a pulse)


So who killed the legacy media? Well it turns out it was a mass suicide and Joe Biden was their Jim Jones. According to excerpts from an upcoming book obtained by The Guardian, Democratic officials were drawing up plans to replace Biden as early as January of 2023, in the event he no longer had the ability to run, and by that they mean dead.


In Fight: Inside the Wildest Battle for the White House, authors Jonathan Allen and Amie Parnes claim that aids to Kamala Harris quote, “strategized around the possibility that Biden might die in office” and apparently Kamala’s  Comm's director went so far as to write a death pool roster of federal judges who might swear her in if Biden indeed kicked the bucket. They also had a team of coroners standing by who could list Joe's time of death as something besides, who the F knows? It could have been anywhere from 2017 to 2011. Who's counting?


The authors also detail other instances of Joe falling apart. During the campaign at a donor's reception just days after the disastrous presidential debate, Biden aids put fluorescent tape on the carpet to show the president where to walk. It's similar to how Bill Clinton's team laid out a path using copies of Hustler magazine.


Biden was often tailed by staffers since he did have a tendency to you know wander off. I bet they likely had another team nearby ready to make a chalk outline. According to one veteran operative nobody was crazy about running Kamala for president either, but quote "At least she had a pulse." I know, talk about a low bar, where judging by her own behavior she pulled up a stool and started doing shots.


So at the same time that the White House and their mouthpieces like Joe Scarboro were telling the world Biden was more vigorous than ever, they were planning for his imminent demise. But you can't blame Scarboro for getting it wrong. He's had years of Mika saying he's the best she ever had. 


Of course the media seems shocked by this news, but shocking to whom? None of this is surprising to anyone who unlike Joe, had a brain. Not to pat our own backs but we've been telling you this all along. This guy's skull is emptier than a theater showing Snow White. 


And we were all smeared for speaking the truth that was clearly on display for years, and now these same jackasses are telling us that the Signal app story is a grave concern when they hid the fact that Biden was literally a concern for the grave. 


There has to be a penalty for this cover up. The scandal isn't that they elected a vegetable, it's that journalists knew it and refused to act like journalists even as the facts got worse, and that penalty should be a complete loss of credibility, not just now but forever. —Greg Gutfeld


 

Thursday, June 22, 2023

He should get fired just for that (your rulers are afraid of you)

 

"NBC News reported that CIA Director Porter Goss did not resign. They now say he was fired, and apparently didn't know it was coming. Which is pretty bad, when you're the head of the CIA and you didn't know what's coming. He should get fired just for that." --Jay Leno


"Last night on CNN, they brought out the publisher of Hustler magazine, Larry Flynt – you know Larry Flynt -- to talk about Eliot Spitzer's future. Let me tell you something, okay? If they bring Larry Flynt to talk about your future, you have no future!" --Jay Leno

 

"Actually, it was a tough fight for John McCain, because a lot of Florida voters were not sure about him. You know, at age 71, McCain was a lot younger than most Florida Republicans. So they were a little leery that some young punk is coming in." --Jay Leno


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Monday, February 15, 2021

the first ever fish sandwich to be made entirely of expired chicken (in lieu of flowers...)


February 2021

Popeye’s has introduced its first ever fish sandwich called the cajun flounder sandwich. It’s also the first ever fish sandwich to be made entirely of expired chicken. —Michael Che


Larry Flynt the founder of Hustler magazine has died at the age of 78. The family has asked in lieu of flowers you send full bushes. —Michael Che


The makers of Aunt Jemima products which have been criticized for using racist imagery are finally changing the name to Pearl Milling Company. Pearl Milling is the name of the white lady who owned Aunt Jemima. —Michael Che


Pope Francis has appointed two women to Vatican posts that were previously only held by men. Apparently God came to him in a dream and told him he could pay women less. —Michael Che


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”



 

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

I heard Bathsheba had a pretty sweet can (so it’s certainly not mine)


It’s The Bible, not an auction paddle. Looks like a camp counselor going through lost and found at the end of the summer. [as Trump] Is this anybody’s book? No pictures in it, so it’s certainly not mine.’” —Seth Meyers

[as Trump] I don’t have a Bible. My Bible, as always, is Hustler magazine. This thing is the most boring magazine I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t even have a centerfold, which is too bad because I heard Bathsheba had a pretty sweet can.” —Stephen Colbert

“Trump only has two modes: menacing sociopath or limp french fry that’s been sitting in the bottom of the bag soaking up all the oil, and on Monday, Trump cycled through both of them, threatening to unleash the military on American protesters at home on one hand and listlessly reading off a teleprompter like he just finished a Thanksgiving meal of turkey with Sudafed stuffing on the other.” —Seth Meyers

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Monday, April 17, 2017

If they bring Larry Flynt to talk about your future, you have no future! (Bed of Lies)



"The escort service that sent Eliot Spitzer this hooker on the train from New York to Washington -- this was in the paper yesterday -- told her he might ask for something that wasn't safe. He already did. He put her on Amtrak." --Jay Leno

"Last night on CNN, they brought out the publisher of Hustler magazine, Larry Flynt -- you know Larry Flynt -- to talk about Eliot Spitzer's future. Let me tell you something, okay? If they bring Larry Flynt to talk about your future, you have no future!" --Jay Leno

"Taking over for Governor Spitzer will be the lieutenant governor, David Paterson, who is legally blind. Interesting. Once again, I don't think President Bush really understands the situation. In fact, when he heard 'legally blind,' he said, 'I love that movie.'" --Jay Leno




Thursday, April 21, 2011

Larry Flynt has written a book about the sex lives of American Presidents



"Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' wraps up. Say what you want about Trump, at least this guy has his priorities in order. He doesn't want to let any reality get in the way of his reality show." –Jay Leno




"Political experts are saying NBC should take 'Celebrity Apprentice' off the air because if Trump runs for president, he could use it as an unfair platform. Because nothing says 'leader of the free world' like someone who can't stop a fight between Meat Loaf and Gary Busey." –Conan O'Brien 



"'Hustler' publisher Larry Flynt has written a book about the sex lives of American Presidents. The highlights are the chapter on Jefferson, the chapter on Garfield and the first 125 chapters on Clinton." –Conan O'Brien