https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
A place of satire, poetry, politics and popular culture. Hope there is something here worth a smile.
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"The big scandal is that CPAC did not invite the one most popular Republican in the country, Chris Christie, because apparently they're mad at him because during Hurricane Sandy, he hugged Obama. In their world, you're only allowed to touch a black person if he handed you a 7-wood and you shot a hole in one." –Bill Maher
"They didn't invite Chris Christie, but they did invite Rick Perry and Sarah Palin – to answer the question, 'What is the opposite of a meeting of the minds?'" –Bill Maher
"Sarah Palin is getting ready for the big CPAC thing by writing words on her hand like "Obama bad. No like." And Rick Perry is getting ready by writing Rick Perry." –Bill Maher
"New Rule: Now that it's been announced that former Pope John Ratzinger will no longer wear his trademark red shoes, someone has to explain how I'm supposed to know who's tapping at me from the next stall?" –Bill Maher
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Pope Benedict officially retired today. People are actually placing bets on who the next Pope will be. At least that's what I heard during my fantasy Pope draft." –Jimmy Fallon
"Pope Benedict has become the first Pope to retire in 600 years. You have to wonder what a Pope does in retirement. I heard a rumor he already cashed in his 401(k)." –Jimmy Kimmel
"My favorite part about today was when the Pope left the Vatican, he left in a helicopter – just like 'The Bachelor.'" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Did you know the Pope is a helicopter pilot? He has a helicopter pilot's license, but never got a driver's license. He can fly a helicopter, but he can't drive a car — just like Jesus before him." –Jimmy Kimmel
"As you know, the Pope stepped down today. There's a lot of cardinals running for this Pope position. Some of the slogans are pretty catchy. My favorite: 'Yes, We Vati-can.'" –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in." –Craig Ferguson
"Pope Benedict is officially retired. Apparently there was some last-minute tension at the Vatican because they wouldn't give the Pope his security deposit back. " –Craig Ferguson
"He left glue on the walls from his Def Leppard posters." –Craig Ferguson
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"We are 24 hours away from massive across-the-board budget cuts. If the cuts go into effect, major airports could face delays up to 90 minutes – or as JetBlue calls it, an on-time departure." –Conan O'Brien
"These automatic budget cuts are serious. It could negatively affect water and sewage services. In other words, all of America is about to embark on a Carnival Cruise." –Conan O'Brien
"Today was Pope Benedict's last day at work. Don't be sad. All the other cardinals are buying him shots at the Vatican Applebee's." –Conan O'Brien
"The Pope spoke to 100 cardinals and said, 'Among you is the future Pope.' And then he said, 'Now enter The Octagon.' They're going to fight it out with holy relics." –Conan O'Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
David Letterman's "Top Ten Countries According
to Secretary of State John Kerry"
10. Portuguam
9. Galifiankistan
8. Uncle Artica
7. Costa Regis
6. Equatorial Vinnie
5. Guayaguay
4. Greece 2
3. Belize Navidad
2. Bangjohntesh
1. Cameroon Diaz
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"It's tax season. Has anybody been to their accountant? I used to go in with a short form and be out of there in 10 minutes. Well, now I went to the guy and the first thing he says to me when I walk into the office is, 'Are you sure you weren't tailed?'" –David Letterman
"Congratulations to Chuck Hagel, the new secretary of defense. And today, he's already off to a bad start. He's going to bring all of the troops home from Afghanistan, but they're coming on a Carnival Cruise." –David Letterman
"Italy just had its elections. There's no winner. There's no government in Italy. People over there have been running wild through the streets, waving their hands in the air. And then they heard about the elections." –Craig Ferguson
"All this turmoil, of course, is nothing new in Italy. Until the late 19th century it was just a bunch of feuding states. And the women had tiny mustaches. It was like the Kardashians." –Craig Ferguson
"Italian women are some of the most beautiful in the world. This is why the Vatican is in Italy. If a man can walk across Italy and retain his celibacy, he's got what it takes to be a priest – or an interior decorator." –Craig Ferguson
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Today the Pope made his last public appearance. That is, until the new season of 'Dancing With the Stars.'" –Conan O'Brien
"The Pope said that the past few years have been very difficult for the church and at times he felt that "the lord seemed to be asleep." When asked for comment the lord said, 'You try staying awake through a Latin mass.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Big international controversy about the Oscars. When they aired in Iran, the Iranian government digitally added sleeves to Michelle Obama's gown. They also altered the video so that Jennifer Lawrence is now deliberately tripped by the Israelis." –Conan O'Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Americans are bracing for this thing called the sequester – when $85 billion will be cut from almost every part of the budget. So teachers, meat inspectors, and TSA workers will all be affected. So if you're someone who teaches people how to keep bad meat off airplanes, you're really screwed." –Jimmy Fallon
"This horse meat scandal just keeps growing. And it isn't happening only in Europe. According to a new report, donkey meat has been found in hamburgers in South Africa. Consumers said when they were eating the burgers, they sensed something was wrong but they couldn't quite pin a tail on it." –Jay Leno
"In fact, in South Africa more than two-thirds of the meat products tested contained undeclared ingredients. Or as we call that in this country, a hot dog." –Jay Leno
"President Obama said this week that after four years as president, 'you realize all the mistakes you've made.' so apparently he DOES watch Fox News." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Even though many have wanted to see Gitmo closed, including President Obama, despite all logic, it remains open for business. It's the Radio Shack of the War on Terror." –Stephen Colbert
"The War on Terror just turned 12-years-old, which explains why it's into remote controlled planes." –Stephen Colbert
"Can our drone program win the war on terror? Yes, if you go: up, up, down down, B, A, B, A, select." –Stephen Colbert
"John Kerry is the new secretary of state. Or the pressure has really taken a toll on Hillary Clinton." –Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Demographic shifts are making it harder for the GOP to win nationally. Apparently in 2012, minority voters just didn't connect with the Republican message of 'Stop, thief!'" –Stephen Colbert
"My church has had some problems. Yes, money was molested. Yes, children were laundered." –Stephen Colbert on the Catholic Church
"Our heroic drones have so rattled Al Qaeda, its leaders are distributing a 22-point tip sheet on how to avoid them. Like tip number 12: 'Maintain complete silence of all wireless contacts.' Here's a pro-tip: switch to AT&T. No one will ever find you!" -–Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"The White House officially released portraits of the White House gang. You can all see the portrait of Hillary Clinton. It will be on next month's cover of the 'Sports Illustrated' pants suit issue." –David Letterman
"The Pope does not earn a nickel. No paycheck, no money coming in, nothing. That must drive his wife crazy." –David Letterman
"Somebody noticed that none of the Oscar winners thanked God. To add insult to injury, at his last sermon, the same day, the Pope thanked Harvey Weinstein and Meryl Streep." –Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"First Lady Michelle Obama won an Academy Award for best bangs." –David Letterman
"The entire cast of 'Les Miserables' performed a song from the movie, featuring Russell Crowe. Or as the cast of 'Zero Dark Thirty' put it, 'Now this is torture.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Unlike Jesus, with my book, you don't have to wait a thousand years for the second edition." –Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Last night a toilet flooded the lobby where the Oscars show was being held. The show won an Oscar for best portrayal of a Carnival Cruise." –Conan O'Brien
"Big winner last night was 'Life of Pi,' a story of a young man who wakes up in a lifeboat with a hyena, zebra, orangutan, and tiger, which oddly enough, is also the plot of 'The Hangover 3.'" –Conan O'Brien
"South Korea's first female president was sworn in. Meanwhile, North Korea said, 'We're just going to stick with men named Kim.'" –Conan O'Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Michelle Obama is actually here tonight to talk about her fitness initiative 'Let’s Move.' Meanwhile, Chris Christie will be on next week to talk about his initiative 'Let's Sit.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Al Qaeda has issued a list of 22 ways that al-Qaida members can avoid being killed by U.S. drones. Here’s a good one: Don't join al-Qaida." –Jay Leno
"A huge snowstorm has now hit 18 states. In fact, it is so cold that former Chicago Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. had his hands in his own pockets." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Fox News host Bill O'Reilly is writing a new book about the killing of Jesus. It will be the first time Jesus' death is blamed on Obamacare." –Conan O’Brien
"It was just announced that President Obama will speak at Ohio State's graduation in May. The president has a lot in common with those students. He's currently in his fifth year and swamped with debt." –Jimmy Fallon
"Officials in Pakistan are complaining that the movie 'Zero Dark Thirty' contains a lot of errors. They were like, 'The movie makes Pakistan out to be a hellish wasteland of corruption and intolerance – but in real life, it's WAY worse than that.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"After the success of his book, 'Killing Lincoln,' Bill O'Reilly is coming out with a new book called 'Killing Jesus.' He's going to be disappointed when he finds out there's already a book about that." –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”