OK, this isn't funny anymore (I guess you could do it)

"Jeb Bush’s brother Neil said that their mother has 'come around' to the idea of Jeb running for president in 2016. Because if there's anything that says you're qualified to be president, it's your own mom saying, 'I guess you could do it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Trump is 20 points ahead of the other Republican candidates. Even Trump was like, “OK, this isn't funny anymore.” –Jimmy Fallon

A real estate agency that sells apartments inside Trump Tower is advertising the new 24-hour presence of Secret Service agents as a, quote, “new amenity.” While they’re advertising the eggs that hit your windows as “free grocery delivery.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s not important! (ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone)

"George W. Bush’s daughter, Jenna, just put her home in Baltimore on the market for $500,000. The real estate agent said, 'I just want to warn you that offers have gone way down ever since the economy was ruined by . . . someone.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Researchers at Cornell University have invented a soft robot hand that can touch fragile items and even sense their shape and texture. When asked what they’ve used the hand for, researchers said, “That’s not important!” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I honestly don't know who to believe in all this (No one is going to stop you, there are no doors)

Housing prices are so high in the San Francisco Bay Area right now that a small one-story burned-out home is selling for — brace yourself — $800,000. It comes with two-and-a-half baths and two-and-a-half walls. The house is loaded with fun features like a fire pit out back, a fire pit in the kitchen, a fire pit in the living room, and all the bedrooms got fire pits. Why not save $800,000 and just move in now? No one is going to stop you, there are no doors. --James Corden

More fallout from the Stormy Daniels scandal. As you know, yesterday she released a sketch of a man she claimed threatened her about her relationship with the president. Well, this morning Donald Trump tweeted: "A sketch years later about a nonexistent man. A total con job, playing the fake news media for fools, but they know it!" Trump calls Stormy's claim "a total con job." I honestly don't know who to believe in all this — the desperate, money-hungry publicity-hound, or Stormy Daniels. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip (Now we train them to perform for our young)

After the death of Karl Lagerfeld, his internet famous cat, Choupette is set to inherit Lagerfeld’s $150 Million Pound fortune. It’s so irresponsible to give a cat that much money. You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip. --Stephen Colbert

Following a malfunction Monday night, more than a dozen people were trapped on a SeaWorld ride for four hours. Reached for comment the whales said, “Phase One complete. Now we train them to perform for our young.” --Stephen Colbert

In Philadelphia, a real estate investor says a home he was scoping out came with an unadvertised surprise. A stairway booby-trapped with a swinging knife. To be fair, the real estate listing did say, “Open House Today: You Will Be Murdered.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Except for Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood (I didn't know he was Jewish!)

"And as you know, the McCain campaign is running that commercial where they're comparing Barack Obama to various Hollywood celebrities. And as you know, if there's one thing the Republicans will not stand for, it's electing some Hollywood celebrity to public office. Except for Ronald Reagan, Fred Thompson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood -- you know, except for those." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is on the hunt for a new home. He just found out he and Laura are going to have to move out of the White House in a few months. His massive plan of foreclosures and plummeting real estate prices finally paid off." --Jimmy Kimmel 

"And earlier this week, John McCain had a small mole moved from his temple. To which President Bush said, 'Temple? I didn't know he was Jewish!'" --Jay Leno