That looks nothing like me (I wish to get faded)

Today in 1884, the Washington Monument was completed, and if George Washington were here today to see it he would probably say, “That looks nothing like me.” –Seth Meyers

A company has developed a new robotic arm that attaches to toilet lids and automatically puts the seat down. And it says a lot about men that this was an easier solution than just asking them to do it. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip (Now we train them to perform for our young)

After the death of Karl Lagerfeld, his internet famous cat, Choupette is set to inherit Lagerfeld’s $150 Million Pound fortune. It’s so irresponsible to give a cat that much money. You know she’s just going to blow it on ‘Nip. --Stephen Colbert

Following a malfunction Monday night, more than a dozen people were trapped on a SeaWorld ride for four hours. Reached for comment the whales said, “Phase One complete. Now we train them to perform for our young.” --Stephen Colbert

In Philadelphia, a real estate investor says a home he was scoping out came with an unadvertised surprise. A stairway booby-trapped with a swinging knife. To be fair, the real estate listing did say, “Open House Today: You Will Be Murdered.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

But the bill has a pre-existing condition: Everybody hates it! (marijuana, crack, and heroin)

A new study has found three new substances in addition to catnip that will get cats high. And they are marijuana, crack, and heroin. –Seth Meyers

For weeks now, Republicans have been pushing their Obamacare replacement plan. But the bill has a pre-existing condition: Everybody hates it! –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html