When a prosecutor uses a rhyme, you’re about to do time (which is the same strategy he’s used for years with his p*nis)

September 2022

“New York’s attorney general, Letitia James’s closing lines from the press conference: ‘Claiming you have money that you do not have does not amount to the art of the deal. It’s the art of the steal.’ Ooh, Donald Trump is in trouble now, because when a prosecutor uses a rhyme, you’re about to do time.” —Trevor Noah

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m not optimistic. But if half of what Trump is saying is true, Trump is an even bigger conman than we all thought. These are not small amounts, claiming your 11,000 square ft apartment is 30,000 square feet. Which is a lie. So this man is going to be the first person to ever get in legal trouble for claiming his apartment is a grower not a show-er. It would be so funny if this is what takes Trump down. Can you imagine? He tries to overthrow the government, but they get him for lying about having an in-unit washer-dryer.” —Trevor Noah

“New York’s attorney general, Letitia James, said that her office has filed a lawsuit against Trump and his family for ‘staggering’ bank, tax and insurance fraud. According to the lawsuit, Trump valued Mar-a-Lago at $739 million when it was worth only $75 million, and claimed an 11,000 square foot apartment was actually 30,000 square feet – which is the same strategy he’s used for years with his penis.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

For two of the turns he didn’t even use a ski pole (chilly willy)

February 2022

“And finally, an athlete from Finland told reporters over the weekend that after competing in the men’s 50-kilometer cross-country ski race at the Beijing Games, his penis was, quote, ‘a little bit frozen’ — though just because he needed an excuse after he was caught ‘warming it up.’” —Seth Meyers

“Or as it’s known by its official medical diagnosis: chilly willy.” —Stephen Colbert

“Lindholm’s frosty groin was so bad, after the race, he had to use a heat pack to try to thaw out his appendage. OK, you gotta do it. Remember, never let your penis defrost on the counter. Put it in a bowl of water in the fridge — salmonella.” —Stephen Colbert

“Now if this all sounds painful, yes. As Lindholm said, “When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable.’ As opposed to ‘bearable’ frozen penis?” —Stephen Colbert

“People could tell something was wrong when he was doing a hand stand under the hand dryers in the men’s room. Thank god he’s an Olympian, because I wouldn’t have the hand strength.” —Jimmy Fallon

“I feel for the guy, though. He’s training for years and now that’s what comes up when you Google him, you know what I’m saying?” —Jimmy Fallon

“He used it to his advantage, though. For two of the turns he didn’t even use a ski pole.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It would have been bigger, but it was really cold outside (writes a check to Barbie, and then calls her “Horseface.”)

Over the weekend, Donald Trump joined dozens of other world leaders in France to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I. Just to be safe, Trump brought a note from his doctor saying he absolutely couldn’t fight. --James Corden

There’s a new Christmas toy being advertised on Fox News. It’s Trumpy Bear! It’s pretty realistic. If you press his paw, Trumpy Bear even writes a check to Barbie, and then calls her “Horseface.” --James Corden

Two Marine Corps pilot were grounded when they flew their jets and left smoke trails in the sky that looked like a penis and testicles. When questioned the Marines said, “It would have been bigger, but it was really cold outside.” --John Hulse

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Trumpathy (penis hostage)

"Yesterday, Iran's President Ahmadinejad said that his country doesn't have problems with gay people because they don't have homosexuals in Iran. Although Ahmadinejad did admit that sometimes one Iranian will take another Iranian's penis hostage." --Conan O'Brien

"Apple launched its iPhone in Europe but it's being criticized because they say it's not European enough. Apparently, the iPhone isn't European enough because it actually works the entire month of August." --Conan O'Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans