Trump is worried he might not pass the NFL’s concussion protocol (a leak from the machine)

"The Super Bowl this year will be played in Governor Chris Christie's home state of New Jersey. It's a state that lately has gotten used to 300-pound guys blocking things." –Conan O'Brien

During Super Bowl celebrations in Philadelphia yesterday, an Eagles fan got so carried away, he ate horse poop right off the street. In his defense, the man thought it was dog poop. --Conan O’Brien

President Trump has decided not to take part in the traditional presidential Super Bowl interview. Apparently, Trump is worried he might not pass the NFL’s concussion protocol. --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I can’t believe the Academy has a worse concussion protocol than the NFL (How's that been working out for you?)

April 2022

Intelligence officials are saying that Vladimir Putin is being misinformed by his advisors about how badly the Russian military is performing in Ukraine. Which is kind of like Will Smith’s agent telling him, ‘You crushed it at the Oscars.’ —Colin Jost

Will Smith, for those of you who don’t know, walked on stage during the Academy Awards and slapped Chris Rock after he made a joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith, which I think is a disgraceful act that sets a terrible precedent for having to defend your wife at award shows. —Colin Jost

Yesterday Will Smith resigned from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. If Will Smith had been expelled he would have joined a small group of people kicked out of the Academy including Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski and Harvey Weinstein. Or as they are also known, Bad Boys for Life. —Colin Jost

I also really love that the reason they let Will Smith stay in the audience was that they asked Chris Rock and he said it was okay. So now we just ask the victim right after they get hit in the head? ‘Hey, are you cool if the guy who just attacked you hangs around for awhile? You don’t want to make him mad again.’ I can’t believe the Academy has a worse concussion protocol than the NFL. —Colin Jost

And honestly I can’t even blame the Academy for not knowing what to do. Nobody knew what to do. Even people at the Oscars were Googling, ‘Did Will Smith just slap Chris Rock?’ I think we should just acknowledge that that was one of the craziest things we will ever see in our lives. It’s truly like the Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction but if Janet’s nipple slapped Timberlake. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: which was unfortunately too many words to fit on his tombstone

A man ate 409 chicken wings to become champion of Philadelphia’s Wing Bowl over the weekend, which was unfortunately too many words to fit on his tombstone. –Seth Meyers

On Saturday, Trump faced his third weekend straight of nationwide protests, including at his Palm Beach resort, Mar-a-Lago, where he was staying. Will the protests get to Trump? Well, a longtime ally, Roger Stone, told Politico, “Donald used to come and go as he pleases, and now he can’t and he has protesters on top of that. Mar-a-Lago is like an oasis for him. But if he feels he can’t go there to unwind, I wonder if it will make him go crazy.” Make him go crazy? Has this been the sane version of Trump this whole time? –Seth Meyers

On Sunday, a deputy White House press secretary told CBS News, “Trump has some meetings and may play a few holes of golf.” Which isn’t a big deal. All presidents play golf. It’s a presidential sport. You wouldn’t want your president playing football.” Though, if Trump did, that would explain the concussion symptoms. –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html