Snapchat’s
IPO launched on the stock market yesterday. Or, to put it another way,
something that your parents don’t understand just launched on something YOU
don’t understand. –Jimmy Fallon
A new financial app
from JP Morgan can now do in seconds what it once took Wall Street financiers
360,000 hours to accomplish. That’s right, the app wrecks the global economy.
–Conan O’Brien
Attorney General
Jeff Sessions is in trouble because he was caught lying under oath about
contacting the Russians during the election. When asked if the allegations were
true, Sessions said, “Absolutely nyet.” –Conan O’Brien
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