Now he's in Mexico, and he was taunted by a matador (They think they're getting Tina Fey)

"Sarah Palin is going to do her best to promote capitalism while she's in Hong Kong, and then I guess at the end of the trip, she'll be riding around in helicopters, shooting pandas." --David Letterman

"And then next month, Sarah Palin is going to Hong Kong for a speaking engagement. She says she can almost see Hong Kong from her house. The Chinese are all very excited, though. They think they're getting Tina Fey." --David Letterman

"But Sarah Palin, very serious now she's out of office up there in Alaska. She wrote a critique of President Obama's health care plan and then she went back to seating customers at the Olive Garden." --David Letterman

"Chris Christie has to brush up on foreign policy, so he went to Mexico. Remember when he was in Africa? He was followed by ivory poachers. Now he's in Mexico, and he was taunted by a matador." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The only way it would be more infectious is if the dinner was all-you-can-bob lasagna buffet (I’m ready, Jesus)

July 2020

“Despite the record number of cases, Florida is still the planned site for next month’s Republican national convention, which Trump moved to Jacksonville from Charlotte, North Carolina, after the latter state instituted public health measures such as mask protocols and physical distancing for attendees. The show is still planned to go on, though numerous high-ranking Republicans, such as the Senators Mitt Romney, Chuck Grassley and Lamar Alexander, have said they won’t attend the event. I don’t blame any of these people for not going, because party officials were also considering docking cruise ships in the city’s port to provide extra lodging. So you’re in Florida spending all day in an auditorium full of screaming people who won’t wear masks, then you go home to sleep on a floating petri dish? The only way it would be more infectious is if the dinner was all-you-can-bob lasagna buffet.” —Stephen Colbert

“As one G.O.P. representative put it, ‘Everybody just assumes no one is going.’ Yeah, even the R.S.V.P.s say, ‘Check one: “Not attending,” “What? No!,” or “I’m ready, Jesus.” —Stephen Colbert

“Also closed are all indoor restaurant-zoos, like Actual Panda Express. Oh, yeah, they’ll eat you. They run out of bamboo, they move on to the man-boo.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

at least that's what he's yelling to anyone who gets near him in the showers (The Harlem Flu)

Reports suggest that in large cities like New York, coronavirus is disproportionately impacting African-American communities and I really wish there was a way to warn black people about this, without also telling white people about this. Because once Trump starts calling this the Harlem flu, we ain't never going to get a cure. —Michael Che

Harvey Weinstein has reportedly beaten the coronavirus, but there's still a chance he could be contagious, at least that's what he's yelling to anyone who gets near him in the showers. —Michael Che

A male panda at a zoo in Hong Kong has for the first time mated with his female companion of ten years, after she finally agreed to get implants. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Then she spent the afternoon shooting pandas from a helicopter (still light enough to fling at your husband's head)

"And Sarah Palin gave a speech today in Hong Kong. She was very tough on President Obama. She attacked President Obama on foreign soil. Well, I'm sure the people that went after the Dixie Chicks will be going after her right now." --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin gave a speech to a conference of investors in Hong Kong yesterday morning. Then she spent the afternoon shooting pandas from a helicopter." --Jay Leno

"Governor Mark Sanford's wife is publishing a book about the affair. She says the book is big enough to tell her side of the story but still light enough to fling at your husband's head." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

The Chinese are all very excited. They think they're getting Tina Fey (riding around in helicopters, shooting pandas)

"And then next month, Sarah Palin is going to Hong Kong for a speaking engagement in Hong Kong. She says she can almost see Hong Kong from her house. The Chinese are all very excited, though. They think they're getting Tina Fey." --David Letterman

"But the former governor's getting ready for her trip. She's reading all the Chinese menus she can get her hands on." --David Letterman

"Sarah Palin is going to do her best to promote capitalism while she's in Hong Kong, and then I guess in the end of the trip, she'll be riding around in helicopters, shooting pandas." --David Letterman

"Labor day weekend. Remember Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska? She's having a big cookout for all her family, all of her friends up there in Alaska. And people say, 'Is she any good? Can she cook?' Remember last year she cooked John McCain's goose? Remember that? Tremendous!" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

flipping like a gymnast making pancakes on a trampoline (Melania is a hologram!)

The Russia investigation is still marching on, and today there's big news about Trump's former campaign manager Paul Manafort. Rumors are Manafort is in talks with the special counsel's office about a possible plea deal. Yes, the man Trump called brave for not turning state's evidence is now flipping like a gymnast making pancakes on a trampoline. --Stephen Colbert

But you can't blame Manafort. He now faces a second trial after he was already found guilty and faces up to 10 years in prison. You know what they say: "Convict me once, shame on you. Convict me twice, I will tell you anything!" Trump eats panda meat! Melania is a hologram! That's not the original Ivanka! She's a clone. She's a clone! --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Help me, I’m trapped (Giant Panda Bears/0 days)

Years from now we can only hope that we will look back at all of this and laugh. And we will be like, “You remember that time when Trump called Kim Jong Un short and fat? Haha. Anyway, how long do we have to stay in this bunker?” –James Corden

While the president is on his [Asia] tour, the first lady is also traveling with him. During a public appearance with some school children at a zoo in Beijing, Melania Trump got photo bombed by a giant panda named Gu Gu. [shows photo] You can see it in those giant sad eyes, like, “Help me, I’m trapped.” Also, there is a panda behind her. –James Corden

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

panda bear sandwich/Dalai Lama's lost luggage/gladiator movies

Today, President Bush had a historic meeting with the Dalai Lama. There was an awkward moment when Bush saw what the Dalai Lama was wearing and said, 'Don't tell me they lost your luggage.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Experts were worried about China's reaction to President Bush's meeting with the Dalai Lama, but Bush says he doesn't think the meeting will damage our relationship with China. Then Bush said, 'But this might,' and took a huge bite out of a panda bear sandwich." --Conan O'Brien

"Senator Larry Craig was interviewed by Matt Lauer this week, and Craig said that he's a victim of gladiator politics. Then Craig said, 'And trust me, no one's watched more gladiator movies than I have" --Conan O'Brien