Zero percent support Joe Biden guessing what the BT and Q stand for (White Claw/bull semen)

A seven year old boy in Pennsylvania set a new world record by bouncing on a POGO stick more than 2,000 times in a row. Said the boy's parents, “Open the schools!” —Colin Jost

A Canadian woman was fined $25,000 dollars for illegally importing bull semen. Meanwhile in the US, bull semen is sold legally under the name White Claw. —Colin Jost

A new poll shows that 75% of LGBTQ support Joe Biden. But Zero percent support Joe Biden guessing what the BT and Q stand for. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

They should make one for Lucky Nuts (She said no, but her husband is)

August 2011

"Michele Bachmann was asked if she was a submissive wife. She said no, but her husband is." –Jay Leno

"The Republicans had their big debate in Iowa. You know who the winner was? Anyone that didn't watch." –Jay Leno

"Newt Gingrich made a surprise announcement. He’s still in the race." –Jay Leno

"President Obama will begin a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are confusion, delusion, and desperation." –Jay Leno

"It's the 76th anniversary of Social Security. I mention it because there's no guarantee that there will be a 77th." –Jay Leno

"General Mills is releasing new lip balms that taste like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms. Or as Joe Biden put it: 'Nice. They should make one for Lucky Nuts.'" –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it (there's no funner way to get diabetes)

Yesterday defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld made the news. He testified before Congress and Ted Kennedy called for Rumsfeld's resignation. This is interesting. This marks the first time Kennedy has ever come out against anything with rum in it. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

General Mills is launching a national ad campaign that promotes the health benefits of eating cereals like Trix, Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs. They're saying they're healthy. The first ad says eat Lucky Charms there's no funner way to get diabetes. --Conan O’Brien 6/24/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

he’s only tied with low-fat milk

Bud Light has created a new device that alerts you when the beer supply in your fridge is running low. The device is known as your roommate Chad. –Conan O’Brien

General Mills is recalling a number of Cheerios products because some boxes that were labeled gluten-free were not gluten-free. As a result, 1.8 million boxes of Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios are being removed from the shelves at stores. This sounds to me like the work of that evil dictator, Vladimir Gluten. –Jimmy Kimmel

Martin O’Malley, ex-governor of Maryland, is running for president. He’s at 2 percent in the polls. He’s been in the race eight months, and he’s only tied with low-fat milk. –Jimmy Fallon