which is perfect for any refugees who are seeking asylum and maybe a Slim Jim (It’s pride of ownership. It’s his baby!)

Today Donald Trump chose Rex Tillerson, Exxon Mobil CEO, as his secretary of state. I assume from now on, all gas stations are official U.S. embassies, which is perfect for any refugees who are seeking asylum and maybe a Slim Jim. –Stephen Colbert

Rex Tillerson is an interesting pick. For one thing, he’s an oil man who believes in climate change. Well, of course he believes in it! He’s from Exxon — he INVENTED it. It’s pride of ownership. It’s his baby! –Stephen Colbert

This morning, the president-elect met at Trump Tower with Kanye West. You can tell it was a high-powered meeting because Kanye wore his formal sweat suit. Obviously, it’s a security risk gathering the two most powerful American narcissists in the same room. Just for security reasons, they had to keep Shia LeBeouf in an undisclosed location for continuity of government. –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In other news, the new Bush presidential library just purchased its first 800,000 books (Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon)

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney slammed President Obama for bowing before the emperor of Japan. Cheney said, 'Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Former President George W. Bush's new memoir has already sold 800,000 copies. In other news, the new Bush presidential library just purchased its first 800,000 books." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon (Those galaxies aren't colliding. They're doing it)

"NASA recently announced they have a photograph from the Hubble Telescope that shows two galaxies colliding. Then they took a closer look and said, 'Wait a second. Those galaxies aren't colliding. They're doing it.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney slammed President Obama for bowing before the emperor of Japan. Cheney said, 'Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!” (the fourth most popular cruise)

On Twitter President Trump announced his nominee for secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, CEO of a small mom-and-pop business called Exxon Mobil. He announced he’s changing his slogan from “drain the swamp” to “fill ’er up!” –Jimmy Kimmel

Ted Cruz has been moving up in the polls but still is only the fourth most popular cruise behind Tom, Penelope, and Carnival. –Jimmy Kimmel

Donald Trump’s former lawyer Michael Cohen doesn’t have to report to prison until March 6th, so he is available to host the Oscars. --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Because, you know, when you think responsible, ethical and trustworthy, you think Exxon Mobil (I call it a Christmas Miracle)

Donald Trump has continued to make more surprising appointments in his cabinet. This morning, Trump chose the CEO of Exxon Mobil, Rex Tillerson, as his secretary of state. Because, you know, when you think responsible, ethical and trustworthy, you think Exxon Mobil. –James Corden

People got to use a new technology when the ride-sharing service Uber introduced their self-driving cars to the city of San Francisco. Yeah, because when looking for a place to roll out an experimental driverless car, you always want to pick the city with the steepest hills. –James Corden

A chocolate factory in Germany recently experienced a storage tank malfunction that resulted in one ton of chocolate spilling onto the street. And the cool weather caused the chocolate to immediately solidify on the pavement, where it had to be removed by firefighters. People are calling this an industrial accident. I call it a Christmas Miracle. --James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon (Now you do me)

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney slammed President Obama for bowing before the emperor of Japan. Cheney said, 'Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon.'" –Conan O'Brien

"In San Diego, a man refused to be patted down by airport security and some people are calling him a hero. I don't mind being patted down by airport security, but I don't like it when the guy says, 'Now you do me.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wait a minute, how can you can see me when I can't see you? (they were completely out of crack)

"Last night, President Bush addressed the crowd at the Republican Convention via satellite. The first ten minutes of Bush's speech consisted of him saying, 'Wait a minute, how can you can see me when I can't see you?'" --Conan O'Brien

​​"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is an entertaining fellow, the gift that keeps on giving. According to police reports, Ford once did heroin with gang members. In his defense, Ford said, 'We had to, they were completely out of crack.'" –Conan O'Brien

"A big insurance company just announced they will give $10 million to anyone who can invent a car that gets 100 miles per gallon. Meanwhile, Exxon says they'll give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! (Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon)

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney slammed President Obama for bowing before the emperor of Japan. Cheney said, 'Come on, it's not like he's the CEO of Exxon.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, President Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China. He said it was, quote, 'magical' as opposed to two years ago, when former President Bush stood at the exact same spot and said, 'Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!'" –Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump wants to see if people think he should run for President. So a website has been launched called 'Shouldtrumprun.com.' Yeah, don't worry the American public has responded with their own website 'No.com.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”