If you want to derail Biden, you don’t give him an impeachment — you give him a microphone (You always remember your first)

House Republicans voted to formally open an impeachment inquiry into President Biden on Wednesday. They managed to get the votes they needed for this, even though no one seems to know exactly what they would be impeaching him for. They have presented no evidence of any wrongdoing by Joe Biden. You can’t impeach someone for falling asleep during ‘Wheel of Fortune.’ — Jimmy Fallon

“This headline tells you all you need to know about the Republican Party right now: ‘House Set to Approve Biden Impeachment Inquiry as It Hunts for an Offense.’ In other words, they don’t have a crime, but they do have an investigation. It’s like an episode of ‘CSI,’ but if there was no ‘C,’ just ‘SI.’ — Jimmy Kimmel

“Today, House Republicans held a vote on opening a formal inquiry into President Biden’s impeachment. Yep, when he heard, former President Trump said, ‘That’s nice. You always remember your first.’” — Jimmy Fallon

“The whole thing is ridiculous. If you want to derail Biden, you don’t give him an impeachment — you give him a microphone.” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The folks at the top aren't bad guys (Her people are afraid that Dorothy's house could drop on her)

"Ann Coulter is going to be on the show tomorrow night. Security is very tight. In fact, there is even restricted airspace over the studio. Her people are afraid that Dorothy's house could drop on her." --Jay Leno

 "As you know, the National Guard stands by, ready to go into action any time President Bush feels there's a big enough of a disaster, like a major earthquake, a huge flood, a 29% approval rating. Any one of those things could trigger movement." --Jay Leno

"This has been quite a week for Sarah Palin. She's been everywhere promoting her new book. She was on 'Oprah,' 'Good Morning America,' ABC 'World News,' 'Nightline,' Barbara Walters. Not to be outdone, next week, John McCain will be the guest corpse on 'CSI.'" –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

Promises Made, Promises 3% Kept (Oh, you mean 0.15 Iraq Wars)

Meanwhile, a Florida city commissioner has resigned over face-licking allegations. Now listen, I will give you this. It is hard not to lick people in Florida. They do look like jerky after awhile. --Stephen Colbert

If there weren’t enough embarrassing stories coming out of Virginia, a man there was arrested for projecting porn onto his garage door. I guess he thought it was too “on the nose” to project it on the tool shed. --Stephen Colbert

Even though immigrant populations commit fewer crimes than the general population, Trump didn’t stop that from trying to scare people. Trump at an El Paso rally, “4,000 kidnappings and 4,000 murders, murders, murders, killings, murders.” Either Trump doesn’t care what the truth is, or he’s pitching CBS’s newest crime series, CSI: Murders, Murders, Murders, Killings, Murders.” --Stephen Colbert

GOP congressman Kevin McCarthy told CNBC, “You’ve got to remember where Nancy Pelosi was - she who said no money for a wall. That’s not the case. Democrats have now agreed to more than 55 miles of new barrier being built.” Yes, 55 of the 2,000 miles of Border Wall that Trump asked for. Just another example of Trump’s slogan, “Promises Made, Promises 3% Kept.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If there's one thing Americans hate, it's comprehensive health coverage (I get to appear on CSI)

"Congress has been agonizing over health care for months now. Squabbling, fighting, the town hall meetings going crazy. Meanwhile, while they're arguing about health care, we're stuck in two wars that were rubber-stamped in about 10 minutes. What? How does that make any sense when you think about it?" --David Letterman

"But have you seen these town hall meetings about the health care? People are screaming. And I'll tell you, because if there's one thing Americans hate, it's comprehensive health coverage." --David Letterman

"People are always saying to me, 'Well, Dave, are you worried?' No, I'm not worried about health care, and I'll tell you why. Because I'm with CBS. They have a tremendous health care plan. And here's what it is. Simply, when I die, I get to appear on a 'CSI' show as a corpse." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”