“‘1917’ was predicted to win best picture last night, and it didn’t. Yeah. Yeah, the producer was furious and said, we fought World War I for nothing.” —Conan O’Brien
“Last night, the movie ‘American Factory’ won best documentary. It was actually produced by Barack and Michelle Obama, and now some other political candidates have announced that they’re making their own movies to compete in next year’s Oscars. Yeah, for example, Mike Bloomberg is making one called ‘I Could Buy Ford and Ferrari.’ Joe Biden — Joe Biden is making one called ‘The Irishman I Fought at a Pool Hall in 1956.’ Bernie Sanders is making one called, ‘Hair-asite.’ And finally, President Trump is making one called ‘Third Marriage Story.’” —Jimmy Fallon
“We still have our president, since Trump got acquitted in his impeachment trial, and now he’s ready for revenge on anyone he believes wronged him. On Friday, Donald Trump proved he’s more spite than man when he fired two critical impeachment witnesses: Gordon Sondland, the ambassador to the EU, and Lt Col Alexander Vindman, a Ukraine expert on the national security council. The dismissals show that Trump has gone full strongman. He’s making a list of enemies and he’s changed the name of his resort to Mar-a-Gulago.” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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