Do not leave the house unless you absolutely need to buy weed (the Empire State Building shrunk 50 floors)

It’s so cold that earlier today the Empire State Building shrunk 50 floors. It is so cold, Trump is actually enjoying being burned by Nancy Pelosi. --Jimmy Fallon

An 80-year-old crossing guard in Iowa said the cold won't stop him from doing his job. Then his boss said, "Nothing stops him. We fired that guy 40 years ago." Get lost! --Jimmy Fallon

Today was also bitterly cold in the Northeast, with lows in the single digits. And I cannot stress this part enough, okay? Do not leave the house unless you absolutely need to buy weed. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”