So you know what that means: we are screwed (she thought her resume needed massaging)

"President Obama said today that education is the key to our economic turnaround. He said once Americans start getting smarter, the economy will start to improve. So you know what that means: we are screwed." –Jay Leno

"Christine O'Donnell was caught lying about her educational background. She may not believe in pleasuring herself, but she thought her resume needed massaging." –Craig Ferguson

"Until last week it said on her online profile that she attended Oxford University, which of course one of the most prestigious colleges on earth. Stephen Hawking teaches at Oxford, Rhodes scholars go there. She didn't go to Oxford, which is a shame, because Oxford's rugby team is called the Fighting Masturbators. That's their nickname because they always choke." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”