Former President Barack Obama attended yesterday's college basketball game between rivals Duke and North Carolina, and I'm happy for you, really, but since you left office, you've been living like a Make-A-Wish kid. I feel like you left us with an abusive stepdad and every once in a while, we get a postcard that says, "Italy is so beautiful. Next time I'll bring you." --Seth Meyers
According to a new book, President Trump and First Lady Melania were seen at Mar-A-Lago on Thanksgiving holding hands and "kissing as if nobody else existed." Meyers as Trump, "That was Melania?" --Seth Meyers
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