I call it a Christmas Miracle (if Wall Street executives are doing well, regular Americans are doing well)

A chocolate factory in Germany recently experienced a storage tank malfunction that resulted in one ton of chocolate spilling onto the street. And the cool weather caused the chocolate to immediately solidify on the pavement, where it had to be removed by firefighters. People are calling this an industrial accident. I call it a Christmas Miracle. --James Corden

Today, the stock market hit an all-time high. Which is great news, because if there's one thing we've learned over the past decade it’s that if Wall Street executives are doing well, regular Americans are doing well. –James Corden

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Awww, did someone run out of kidnapped slave labor? (the worst thing that could have happened to a Chinese spy)

So Bill and Hillary Clinton skipped their depositions before the House Oversight Committee regarding Jeffrey Epstein. But this isn't the first time Hillary left someone hanging. —Greg Gutfeld

Jin Xiaawi, a US Navy sailor, was convicted of spying for China and sentenced to 16 years in prison, which is far better than the worst thing that could have happened to a Chinese spy. Sex with Eric Swallwell. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living (I have good news and I have bad news)

Donald Trump was going crazy on Twitter because a big firefighters union decided to endorse Joe Biden instead of him. He's really upset with this union. He sent a tweet that said, "I've done more for firefighters than this dues-sucking union will ever do." Then he added, "I have personally donated thousands of dollars to people who slide down poles for a living." --Jimmy Fallon

Speaking of strip clubs, listen to this. Yesterday, Mike Pence gave a speech to some Navy sailors. And before Pence walked out, the sailors were told that they had to clap like they were at a strip club. Even weirder, Pence was introduced like this. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Magic Mike Pence! --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

widespread awakening of class consciousness (a Latte)

A man that Washington Governor Jay Inslee gave clemency to was caught with enough fentanyl to kill nearly 300,000 people. Joe Biden wasn't impressed saying, hey I pardoned a guy you killed 10 times that many. —Greg Gutfeld

Snow White premiered in Los Angeles on Saturday. It's the worst thing to happen to the city all year said firefighters. —Greg Gutfeld

An LA man whose lap was scalded by tea at Starbucks was awarded $50 million. When asked how much pain he was in he replied, a Latte. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”