The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English (backstage at the Tony Awards)

June 2011

"Newt Gingrich announced he was running for president. His top advisers quit, and then his campaign fundraisers all quit. Newt was thinking, 'I don't need this, I'll just put it all on my Tiffany's credit card.'" –David Letterman 

“New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English." –David Letterman

"Here's fascinating cultural, sociological news: New York City is very close to legalizing same-sex marriage. But until it becomes official, the only place in New York City where gay couples can actually marry is backstage at the Tony Awards." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Congress has a line of credit with China for up to $14.3 trillion (it was just the Metamucil talking)

June 2011

"Sarah Palin has canceled the rest of her bus trip around America. She had to quit before she got to Mount Rushmore and somebody asked her to name the Presidents.” –Jay Leno

"Senator John McCain is in a bit of hot water after he made an unsubstantiated claim that illegal immigrants caused the Arizona wildfires. He kind of backtracked today. Now he's saying it was just the Metamucil talking." –Jay Leno

"John McCain made his claim that illegal immigrants started the Arizona wildfires without doing his research. The last time he did that we got Sarah Palin.” -Jay Leno

"It has now been revealed that Newt Gingrich had a second line of credit at Tiffany's for up to a million dollars. That sounds like a lot until you remember that Congress has a line of credit with China for up to $14.3 trillion." –Jay Leno

"More bad news for Newt Gingrich. One week after his campaign staff quit, his campaign finance team quit. In fact, Newt was going to pull out of the race, but today the guy who writes his concession speeches quit. He can't do anything." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If it was me, I wouldn't be surprised (You're thinking of capitalism)

June 2011

"What is Anthony Weiner guilty of? He's guilty of being too photogenic. But is taking pictures of your junk and e-mailing them something you'd expect from a Congressman? No. This is something you'd expect from a priest." –David Letterman 

"When asked about the Congressman Weiner scandal, President Obama said that if it were him, he's resign. When Bill Clinton was asked about the same thing he said, 'If it was me, I wouldn't be surprised.'" –David Letterman

"Donald Trump is 65 today. Had a big party. He likes to play Pin Everything on Obama." –David Letterman

"Newt Gingrich was so impressed with Michele Bachmann at the Republican debate that he gave her a $200,000 gift certificate for Tiffany's." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Let me put your popularity into context for you... (there is now a new low in what passes for a sex scandal)

"We don't even need Sarah Palin for comedy in this presidential election because yesterday Newt Gingrich got fired by his own campaign. Did you see this? His entire staff quite en masse because they had a little disagreement about strategy. You see, Newt entered the race three weeks ago, and then his staff got mad at him because he spent the last two weeks campaigning in the wrong country. The last two weeks he's been on a yacht touring the Greek Island, stopping only at Tiffany's on his mission to warn America that Obama is an elitist." –Bill Maher

"Thanks to you, Congressman Weiner, there is now a new low in what passes for a sex scandal. JFK got Marilyn Monroe. John Edwards got a love child. You got mail." –Bill Maher

"New Rule: Newt Gingrich, just stop. Seriously, your campaign isn’t just off to a rocky start; it’s like you hired me to run it and I purposely ran it into the ground. Let me put your popularity into context for you. You are a Republican and you’re polling behind a black man (Herman Cain)." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And speaking of the end of the world, there are only 4 Oprah shows left (he buys his engagement rings in bulk)

May 2011

"Everyone in the blamestream media, copyright, is saying Newt Gingrich is on the ropes. Wrong, you parasites. This man will rise again, just like the sourdough he appears to be made of." –Stephen Colbert

"There is a simple explanation for this because Newt Gingrich buys his engagement rings in bulk." –Stephen Colbert, on Newt Gingrich running up $500 thousand dollar in Tiffany's debt

"The world is ending on Saturday. It would really, really suck if we only get to live three weeks longer than bin laden." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The world is ending on Saturday. We will be judged by Randy and J-Lo, and then I guess we go to Hell. It would really, really suck if we only got to live 3 weeks longer than bin Laden. And speaking of the end of the world, there are only 4 Oprah shows left." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I’ve got bad news and worse news (Get Over It!)

There’s some nasty weather moving up the East Coast right now, known as Tropical Storm Gert. When they heard, people named Gert were like, “Oh, come on, my life’s bad enough as it is!” –Jimmy Fallon

Costco has to pay Tiffany’s $19 million for selling 2,500 fake Tiffany rings. Husbands don’t know what’s worse, having to tell their wife her ring ISN’T from Tiffany, or that it IS from Costco. “I’ve got bad news and worse news...” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

Rick's not crazy about other dudes reaching out for him

“There are rumors that Mitt Romney will ask Ron Paul to be his running mate. He was originally going to reach out to Rick Santorum. But Rick's not crazy about other dudes reaching out for him.” –Craig Ferguson 

“A crazy billionaire is going to give Newt Gingrich $100 million. Gingrich is so excited. He said, ‘Wow, now I can come pretty close to settling up my bill at Tiffany's.’” –David Letterman



“As of today, Rick Santorum will be assigned Secret Service agents. This is the first time Santorum has agreed to use any kind of protection.” –Conan O'Brien



John Hulse painting

He’s buying all of his jewelry on QVC now

“Donald Trump has now endorsed Mitt Romney. Imagine that, a billionaire reaching out to a millionaire. The two classes are coming together.” –Jay Leno





“This week, Mitt Romney went to a McDonald's restaurant to show that he's a normal American... just a regular guy. You can tell he hasn't spent a lot of time there. Like when he walked in, he asked to see the maitre d'.” –Jay Leno



“There are signs that Newt Gingrich’s campaign is starting to run out of money. He’s dropped Tiffany and he’s buying all of his jewelry on QVC now.” –Jay Leno 

John Hulse photography

I got you a very special package...

"The Republican candidates were asked to name their favorite movies. Ron Paul picked 'No Country for Old Men.' Rick Perry chose 'Clueless.' Michele Bachmann chose 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,' and Herman Cain chose 'Snatch.'" –Jay Leno



"Thank you, the TSA, for celebrating your 10th birthday this month. I got you a very special package, mine." –Jimmy Fallon



"Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who ran up a half-million dollar bill at Tiffany's?" –David Letterman 

John Hulse painting

The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English

"Newt Gingrich announced he was running for president. His top advisers quit, and then his campaign fundraisers all quit. Newt was thinking, 'I don't need this, I'll just put it all on my Tiffany's credit card.'" –David Letterman 



“New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English." –David Letterman



"Sarah Palin has abruptly ended her bus tour of the United States. The idea was to drive around the country giving speeches in front of historical landmarks. Reportedly, she's back in Alaska at home, which is weird because it's not like her to quit something." –Jimmy Kimmel



The last time he did that we got Sarah Palin

"John McCain made his claim that illegal immigrants started the Arizona wildfires without doing his research. The last time he did that we got Sarah Palin.” -Jay Leno



"It has now been revealed that Newt Gingrich had a second line of credit at Tiffany's for up to a million dollars. That sounds like a lot until you remember that Congress has a line of credit with China for up to $14.3 trillion." –Jay Leno



"More bad news for Newt Gingrich. One week after his campaign staff quit, his campaign finance team quit. In fact, newt was going to pull out of the race, but today the guy who writes his concession speeches quit. He can't do anything." –Jay Leno



He gave her a $200,000 gift certificate for Tiffany's

"Happy Birthday to Donald Trump, who was born 65 years ago today! It was sweet. Today Obama sent him a nice Hallmark card that said, 'Prove it.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Donald Trump is 65 today. Had a big party. He likes to play Pin Everything on Obama." –David Letterman



"Newt Gingrich was so impressed with Michele Bachmann at the Republican debate that he gave her a $200,000 gift certificate for Tiffany's." –David Letterman



John Hulse photography