And the big answer to that is, Duh (the time he got to see Dick Cheney change his tube socks)

It was sentencing day for Donald Trump’s former lawyer and former friend Michael Cohen. Michael Cohen was sentenced to three years in prison for multiple counts of tax evasion and paying Trump’s mistresses to keep them quiet during the campaign. The big question, of course, is whether Trump himself knew about and directed these illegal payments. And the big answer to that is, Duh. --Jimmy Kimmel

Time magazine has named their Person of the Year. It’s none other than President-elect Donald Trump. He is the Person of the Year. Which is a big deal because this might be one of our last years. –Jimmy Kimmel

"Future President Sarah Palin made her first appearance on Fox News yesterday—after signing a multi-year deal with the network. She was a guest on 'The O'Reilly Factor.' Sources say they have not seen Bill O'Reilly that aroused since the time he got to see Dick Cheney change his tube socks." –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So now when students want to ask a question, they raise both hands (Legalize Shemp)

"A high school in Arkansas is letting teachers carry concealed weapons. So now when students want to ask a question, they raise both hands." –Conan O'Brien

North Korea is creating its own time zone. It's going to push the country's time back a half hour. So it's not bad enough that they don't have food and they're ruled by an insane dictator. Now they have to wait until 8:00 to watch "Wheel of Fortune." –Conan O’Brien

"Pope Francis today said he will not judge priests who are gay. In response, gay priests said they will not judge Pope Francis for wearing that robe with those shoes." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Fellas, God gives you all those touchdowns, and this is how you thank him? (free-balling it)

At this point, the folks at the CBO must be so tired of analyzing healthcare bills, they're just free-balling it. "What, a new bill? Yeah, let me run the numbers. Yeah, yeah everybody dies!" –Stephen Colbert

Every day, we get another revelation about Hillary Clinton from WikiLeaks. Any more, and we’re going to need WikiDepends. –Stephen Colbert

Everybody see Thursday night's football game? I saw it by accident because I tried to watch my show. Once again, I got bumped by "Thursday Night Football." This time, my show didn't start until 12:35 a.m. and last night was my special “Pope Show.” So, football didn't just bump me, it bumped the Pope. Fellas, God gives you all those touchdowns, and this is how you thank him? –Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Big Three vs The Three Stooges (Oh. Touche)

"Why doesn't the media ever give credence to a single story based on unsubstantiated rumors? [on screen: Dick Cheney saying, before the beginning of the Iraq war, that there is 'no doubt' that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction]. Oh. Touche." --Stephen Colbert

"A Republican politician form Idaho has endorsed Barack Obama. The last time a Republican switched sides was in an airport men's room." --Craig Ferguson

"The theme of the Democratic Convention is unity. Unfortunately they can't agree on how that works." --David Letterman



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

He'll be a threat to Washington's white women

"Charges of racism are all over the electoral map this year. In Tennessee, Republicans ran a TV ad against African-American Democrat Harold Ford that suggests he is a threat to Tennessee's white women. I don't see what the big deal is. If Ford is elected, he won't be a threat to Tennessee's white women. He'll be a threat to Washington's white women." --Stephen Colbert

"Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney got full endorsement from President Bush. That's like Curly and Larry getting a vote of confidence from Moe." --David Letterman

"President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? Kerry should have tried the Bush strategy: say so many stupid things, no one cares anymore." --Jay Leno