You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar (slavery leaves a mark)

"The race for the Democratic nomination moved yesterday to Mississippi where Senator Barack Obama defeated Senator Clinton by 61% to 37%. Second win in a row for Obama. Clearly gaining momentum. Major night for his campaign [on screen: montage of news anchors and pundits saying Obama's win was expected]. There you have it, if the media isn't surprised something is going to happen, it does not count. Actually, there was one shocking result [on screen: FNC's Sean Hannity saying, 'Nine to one African-Americans voted for Barack Obama. 76% of the white voters go for Hillary. What are we to make of those two things?] That slavery leaves a mark." --Jon Stewart

[On Bush saying Porter Goss 'led ably'] "Ouch. That guy must have sucked. I mean for god sakes, Mike Brown drowned New Orleans and he got 'heckuva job.' George Tenet thought WMDs were a slam dunk. He got the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Led ably? I think the last guy who was said to have led ably was Gary Cherone when he took over Van Halen. You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar." --Jon Stewart

"Meanwhile, on the Republican side, yesterday John McCain visited President George W. Bush to be passed the torch, a torch that the president most likely broke and crazy glued back together hoping no one would notice." --Jon Stewart

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the ambulance crew fired Roth and replaced him with Sammy Hagar (Since 1972)

It’s been reported that David Lee Roth is now working as a paramedic on a New York City ambulance. Unfortunately earlier today the ambulance crew fired Roth and replaced him with Sammy Hagar. --Conan O’Brien 11/16/2004

He’s fine now, but Dick Cheney went to the hospital yesterday after experiencing shortness of breath. The doctors asked Cheney when he first noticed this and he said, “1972.” --Conan O’Brien 11/16/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar (giving bad intelligence to his family)

"The director of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned, surprisingly. I guess on Friday he resigned. He said he wanted to spent more time giving bad intelligence to his family." --David Letterman

[On Bush saying Porter Goss 'led ably'] "Ouch. That guy must have sucked. I mean for god sakes, Mike Brown drowned New Orleans and he got 'heckuva job.' George Tenet thought WMDs were a slam dunk. He got the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Led ably? I think the last guy who was said to have led ably was Gary Cherone when he took over Van Halen. You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar." --Jon Stewart

"It's sad, really. I mean, I remember a time when the CIA would assassinate heads of state, install "puppet governments. If you wanted a coup, they were number one on your speed dial. Now days, most mental patients don't even think the CIA are the ones who put microchips in their brain. Don't think they can pull it off. Now they blame professional hockey. It's just embarrassing" --Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee