Wait 'till these guys find out in prison that insider trading has a whole new meaning (He should get fired just for that)

"Former Enron founder Ken Lay and CEO Jeffrey Skilling were found guilty in the Enron case. Ken Lay is so guilty I'm surprised people aren't calling him Congressman Ken Lay. Wait 'till these guys find out in prison that insider trading has a whole new meaning." --Jay Leno

"NBC News reported that CIA Director Porter Goss did not resign. They now say he was fired, and apparently didn't know it was coming. Which is pretty bad, when you're the head of the CIA and you don't know what's coming. He should get fired just for that." --Jay Leno

 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

I believe it's called Jagermeister (Rumsfeld family reunion)

"Patrick Kennedy blamed his seemingly intoxicated state after the car crash on his sleeping medication. I believe it's called Jagermeister." --Jay Leno

"NBC News reported that CIA Director Porter Goss did not resign. They now say he was fired, and apparently didn't know it was coming. Which is pretty bad, when you're the head of the CIA and you didn't know what's coming. He should get fired just for that." --Jay Leno

"While speaking in Atlanta on Thursday, Defense Secretary  Donald Rumsfeld was repeatedly interrupted by angry protesters, with one woman shouting, 'This man needs to be imprisoned for war crimes.' What makes it worse is that he was speaking at a Rumsfeld family reunion." --Tina Fey

under the influence of something besides a lobbyist (it's hard out there for pimp)

"Whatever the congressman was on, it's just nice to see a lawmaker under the influence of something besides a lobbyist." --Bill Maher

"Porter Goss the head of the CIA resigned suddenly amid rumors that it has something to do with a floating party that's been going on at the Watergate hotel for years, which involves congressman, lobbyists, defense contractors, and hookers. This is why you don't want your daughter to grow up to be a hooker -- she might fall in with a bad crowd." --Bill Maher

"In all fairness, we don't know if any of this might be true, but it might be true because Porter Goss's resignation letter cited a burdensome workload, wanting to spend more time with his family, and the fact that it's hard out there for pimp." --Bill Maher

You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar (giving bad intelligence to his family)

"The director of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned, surprisingly. I guess on Friday he resigned. He said he wanted to spent more time giving bad intelligence to his family." --David Letterman

[On Bush saying Porter Goss 'led ably'] "Ouch. That guy must have sucked. I mean for god sakes, Mike Brown drowned New Orleans and he got 'heckuva job.' George Tenet thought WMDs were a slam dunk. He got the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Led ably? I think the last guy who was said to have led ably was Gary Cherone when he took over Van Halen. You do not want to be the poor man's Sammy Hagar." --Jon Stewart

"It's sad, really. I mean, I remember a time when the CIA would assassinate heads of state, install "puppet governments. If you wanted a coup, they were number one on your speed dial. Now days, most mental patients don't even think the CIA are the ones who put microchips in their brain. Don't think they can pull it off. Now they blame professional hockey. It's just embarrassing" --Daily Show correspondent Samantha Bee

See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off

"President Bush told a German newspaper in an interview over the weekend that his best moment since he became president was when he caught a 7-1/2 pound fish in his own lake. See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said catching a 7.5 pound fish was his best moment since becoming president. You know the sad thing, a lot of historians would agree with that." --Jay Leno

"In a commencement speech at the University of Oklahoma on Saturday, President Bush told graduates the job market is the best it's been in years. Well sure, look at all the openings just in his cabinet. There's plenty of jobs." --Jay Leno

"The head of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned. He said he wanted to spend more time spying on his family." --Jay Leno