The Jets became suspicious when they noticed an unmarked van parked in the shower (It's a Small World)

"In his first year in office, President Obama has traveled to 16 foreign countries, more than any other president in history. Bush only traveled to 11, but most of those were just different parts from the 'It's a Small World' ride." –Jimmy Fallon

Another big story is that Cubs team president Theo Epstein has now ended World Series droughts for both the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox. Now, he’s going to take on his toughest job yet, president of RadioShack. –Jimmy Fallon

It's being reported that the Jets had their locker room swept for listening devices before their recent game against the New England Patriots. The Jets became suspicious when they noticed an unmarked van parked in the shower. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I wish him a safe journey back to his home planet (Incredible Customer Service)

April 2022

“The news of Elon Musk purchasing Twitter set off a wave of takes so hot, they burned off my eyebrows and I had to draw them back on.” —Trevor Noah

“But one of the biggest takes came from former Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey, who gave Musk his stamp of approval saying, ‘I trust his mission to extend the lights of consciousness.’ And I’ll be honest, people, I have no idea what that means, but Jack’s clearly on that billionaire speak.” —Trevor Noah

“All jokes aside, Jack Dorsey is a great guy, and I wish him a safe journey back to his home planet.” —Trevor Noah

“You know, Trump claims he won’t go back on Twitter, but he 100 percent will go back on Twitter, and then this dumb new company he conned everybody out of their money for will become, I guess, the social media equivalent of a Radio Shack — a Radio Shack that is run by Devin Nunes.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Yeah, so Truth Social is competition for Twitter the same way that guy on the plane was competition for Mike Tyson.” —Trevor Noah

“Also, it doesn’t bode well that Trump himself has only posted on Truth Social one time ever. Yeah, and that was two months ago. Think about how crazy that is, people — when he was on Twitter, Trump would send out, what, like 50 tweets every time he went to the bathroom? Now he hasn’t posted for two months. Somebody needs to get this guy prune juice fast!” —Trevor Noah

“I’ll be honest, though, the only reason I would want Trump back on Twitter, the only reason, because — I know, yes, it would probably lead to another term and it would destroy the country — but I just, I just really want to see his Wordle scores.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: if RadioShack goes bankrupt one more time, it can officially run for president

For the second time, RadioShack has filed for bankruptcy. Experts say if RadioShack goes bankrupt one more time, it can officially run for president. –Conan O’Brien

Many years after dropping out of Harvard, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is going back to get an honorary degree. Zuckerberg said he would have gone back sooner, but even he can’t afford college these days. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Actually, the statue's over there.

There was a big ceremony at the Capital yesterday to unveil a marble statue of Dick Cheney. People said, "Wow, he looks so life-like." And then Cheney said, "Actually, the statue's over there." —Jimmy Fallon

Target's website crashed this week due to the flood of customers shopping on Cyber Monday. While Radio Shack's website crashed when one person googled Radio Shack. —Jimmy Fallon

Russia is planning to build a base on the moon where astronauts will live permanently. When asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless landscape, the Russians said, "No, that's why we want to go to the moon." —Jimmy Fallon