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Monday, December 7, 2015

Actually, the statue's over there.



There was a big ceremony at the Capital yesterday to unveil a marble statue of Dick Cheney. People said, "Wow, he looks so life-like." And then Cheney said, "Actually, the statue's over there." —Jimmy Fallon
Target's website crashed this week due to the flood of customers shopping on Cyber Monday. While Radio Shack's website crashed when one person googled Radio Shack. —Jimmy Fallon
Russia is planning to build a base on the moon where astronauts will live permanently. When asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless landscape, the Russians said, "No, that's why we want to go to the moon." —Jimmy Fallon


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