C'mon in, Kanye! (We have ways of making you talk)

A teacher in Arkansas is in trouble for giving alcohol to underage students. But to be fair, just because you’re in fifth grade in Arkansas, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re under 21. –Conan O’Brien

President Trump welcomed the president of Nigeria to the White House. The meeting started awkwardly when Trump said, "C'mon in, Kanye!" --Conan O’Brien

Bookmakers are giving odds on the royal baby's new name and the name that came in dead last is "Wayne." Which is too bad, because I’d love to hear the Royal Guards say, "Please rise for his royal highness, Lil Wayne." --Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

consider their logo used to be a hillbilly shooting at somebody (Football Jerk Off Nap)

If you drag your man to Eat Pray Love this summer he gets to take you to a movie called Football Jerk Off Nap. --Bill Maher

New Rule: Don't tell me fat guys last longer in bed, it just feels longer. A new study claims the average man has sex for 108 seconds, even quicker if he's with a woman. But the average fat guy I guess because the huffing and puffing slows him down has sex for all of seven minutes, which explains where he got the name Rush. --Bill Maher

New Rule: Before asking why Mountain Dew had to develop a marketing campaign with Lil Wayne to try and get black people to drink it, consider their logo used to be a hillbilly shooting at somebody. --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He'll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne (He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere)

“President Obama’s security left traffic in Los Angeles paralyzed. It took some people two hours to get home from work, when it usually only takes 96 minutes. I don't understand why the president has to drive. He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere." –Jimmy Kimmel

"After three weeks of jury deliberations, Rod Blagojevich was convicted yesterday on only one of the 24 counts against him. The one count he was convicted for? Transporting illegally silky hair across state lines. He could get up to five years, though that's very unlikely. He'll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne." –Jimmy Kimmel

"According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a growing movement among Democrats to replace Joe Biden as VP with Hillary Clinton in 2012. Do you realize that if that happens, for the first time Hillary will be directly under a president." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Now she can listen to Lil Wayne on the treadmill without anyone bothering her (I mean, it was just like my honeymoon)

"President Obama visited Buckingham Palace and he met with the Queen of England, and here's what they did. They briefly shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. I mean, it was just like my honeymoon." --David Letterman

"It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson

"President Obama is in London right now for a meeting with 19 other world leaders. This morning, he and the First Lady met Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace. He gave her an iPod as a gift, which is perfect. Now she can listen to Lil Wayne on the treadmill without anyone bothering her." --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”