But Not One Penny for early childhood education (weapons systems)

During an interview yesterday, Donald Trump told his supporters not to harass Latinos and Muslims. “Uh-oh,” said black people. –Seth Meyers

Donald Trump told supporters last night not to harass Latinos and Muslims, saying, “I will say right to the cameras, ‘Stop it’” — and then he winked so hard his wig unsnapped. –Seth Meyers

According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods. –Seth Meyers

A new study revealed that having a pint of beer every day can help prevent strokes and heart disease — so this one is on me, Justice Ginsburg. Keep going. –Seth Meyers

A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled the correct way. The rats were like, “Why aren’t you trying to cure cancer?” –Seth Meyers