Russia was in my cereal this morning (gift baskets)

This is pretty cool. Scientists have built a 6'10" robot that can hit perfect three-pointers. Unfortunately, rival scientists built a 6'11" robot that can say, "Not in my house." --Jimmy Fallon

President Trump has been keeping busy. He just met with the leaders of Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania. And until that meeting, Trump thought Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania were cast members on "Real Housewives." [imitates Trump] "Do you know Melania?" --Jimmy Fallon

Amazon Prime just unveiled new buttons you can press to order Doritos, Red Bull, and Trojan condoms. Or as that's called in New Jersey, “A gift basket.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh, so you LIKE protests now? (Both major parties need to go)

Some people are upset with Nike over the new campaign, and are even destroying their Nike gear in protest. Then Colin Kaepernick was like, "Oh, so you LIKE protests now?" --Jimmy Fallon

The NFL season kicked off tonight with a game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Philadelphia Eagles. And it's perfect timing for the Eagles' fans. 'Cause they just sobered up from the Super Bowl. --Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump has been keeping busy. He just met with the leaders of Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania. And until that meeting, Trump thought Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania were cast members on "Real Housewives." [imitates Trump] "Do you know Melania?" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

America’s back for a limited time only, offer not valid in Florida (I think I’m taking all three of those)

June 2021

“Biden’s message at the G7 meetings has been simple: America is back. You know, like the McRib, America’s back for a limited time only, offer not valid in Florida.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden attended the NATO summit today and met with the leaders of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. Said Biden, ‘I think I’m taking all three of those.’” —Seth Meyers

“Last weekend saw the former press secretary, and proven liar, Kayleigh McEnany claim that she never lied throughout her time at the White House. Wow, it’s impressive to lie about lying. It’s like stabbing a witness during your murder trial.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She can describe the president’s genitalia in great detail (PLEASE give her some more hush money)

A lawyer for Stormy Daniels went on Megyn Kelly’s show today and said, “She can describe the president’s genitalia in great detail.” Then Americans were like, “PLEASE give her some more hush money.” --Jimmy Fallon

Trump has been keeping busy. He just met with the leaders of Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania. And until that meeting, Trump thought Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania were cast members on "Real Housewives." [imitates Trump] "Do you know Melania?" --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

That pretty much empties the Bush library (no thanks, I'm married)

"White House officials said today President Bush took three books with him to Texas. Three! That pretty much empties the Bush library." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said while he's on vacation he's reading two books about his hero Abraham Lincoln. That's his hero, and this has got his staff a little worried. See they know how much President Bush idolizes Lincoln and the feeling is it's going to be very upsetting to him when he gets to the part of the book where Lincoln gets shot. But then again it's ten days, so it could take awhile." --Jay Leno

"The New York Times reported this story: on a trip to Estonia Senators McCain and Hillary Clinton got into a vodka-drinking contest. No, no, see that shows you how two sides can get together. When a McCain and a Clinton can both end up acting like a Kennedy. When Hillary asked him if he wanted to go out for a cold one, Senator McCain said no thanks, I'm married." --Jay Leno