I think the word you’re looking for is guess (I’m holding out until the Department of Motor Vehicles chimes in)

February 2023

“There is a new report from the Department of Energy, which concluded that the Covid-19 virus originated from an accidental lab leak in China. However, the report’s conclusion, which diverges from other government studies on the emergence of the virus, was made with ‘low confidence’. How can you conclude something with low confidence? That’s not a conclusion. I think the word you’re looking for is guess.” —Hasan Minhaj

“A reminder to people touchdown dancing about the lab leak theory: the energy department is one of nine intelligence groups that have assessed Covid’s origins. Two of those concluded a likely lab leak, five said natural causes and two said they don’t know. And you know what? I personally side with them. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. FBI says this, NIC says that. I’m holding out until the Department of Motor Vehicles chimes in.” —Hasan Minhaj

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”