"Disney is trademarking the phrase 'SEAL Team 6,' after the team that took down Osama bin Laden. Yeah, cause when they shot bin Laden, captured his wives and found his porn, I was like, 'This would make a great Disney movie.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"In a new interview, President Obama said that killing Osama bin Laden does not secure his 2012 re-election. Yeah, that's been taken care of by the current field of Republicans." –Jimmy Fallon
"Newt Gingrich is running and just came out with his new book: 'The Adultery of Hope.'" –Jay Leno
"Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate." –Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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