"Donald Trump said he may reverse his position and decide to run for president. He said he wants to do it because President Obama is being so indecisive." –Jay Leno
"A lot of people are very nervous about this whole Rapture thing, though a lot of people didn't understand it. For instance, Sarah Palin said, 'The raptures were the scariest part of 'Jurassic Park.'" –Jay Leno
"Prosecutors announced yesterday that Karl Rove will not be charged with any crimes. The White House was pretty relieved. President Bush told Dick Cheney, 'You can cancel that hunting trip with Karl Rove.'" --Jay Leno
"President Bush said today that illegal immigrants who come to America should learn English. He said, 'If I was moving to Canada, I would learn Canadian.'" --Jay Leno
"Republicans in the Senate have announced they are moving on from gay marriage to a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. We would join the only three other countries who have banned flag burning: China, Cuba and Iran. We can stand with our brothers on this issue." --Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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