The only part of government that really listens (what if Kanye was a car?)

Tesla is reportedly having trouble selling Cybertrucks, partly due to its slogan, Cybertruck -- what if Kanye was a car? —Colin Jost

A new fashion trend for women are nap dresses, part of a larger trend called clinical depression. —Colin Jost

A group is asking New Jersey Transit to make commutes more joyful by putting googly eyes on the front of trains. So at least you'll see a friendly face coming to help when you're pushed on the tracks. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as Dick Cheney calls it, a love story (47 percent)

 

"Mitt Romney said that the 47 percent of people who don't pay taxes are going to vote for Obama. You know what that means? He's going to vote for Obama." –Jay Leno

"You know, they used to say a recession was when your neighbor lost his job, and a depression was when you lost your job. You probably heard this, right? See, now, a recession is when Wall Street guys get bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it." --Jay Leno

"George Clooney won for Syriana, which was about the CIA and what people will do for oil. Or as Dick Cheney calls it, a love story." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

And really, who loves foreigners more than Dick Cheney? (You know what that means?)

"Mitt Romney said that the 47 percent of people who don't pay taxes are going to vote for Obama. You know what that means? He's going to vote for Obama." –Jay Leno

"You know, they used to say a recession was when your neighbor lost his job, and a depression was when you lost your job. You probably heard this, right? See, now, a recession is when Wall Street guys get bailed out, and a depression is what you get thinking about it." --Jay Leno

"Oh, hey, and the University of Wyoming will open the new Dick Cheney Center for International Students. And really, who loves foreigners more than Dick Cheney?" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Keep in mind, I am a proctologist (massive 910 carat diamond)

Miners in Africa have found a massive 910 carat diamond worth tens of millions of dollars. The diamond will go to either a museum or to Beyoncé the next time Jay-Z cheats on her. --Conan O’Brien

President Trump’s doctor predicted that the president will live a long life. As a result, the doctor is now treating Melania Trump for depression. --Conan O’Brien

President Trump had a physical today. After Trump’s exam, his doctor said he found “no cognitive or mental issues whatsoever.” But the doctor did say, “Keep in mind, I am a proctologist.” --Conan O’Brien

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

You have a collect call from — don’t hang up, loser!

The vote on the Republican healthcare bill was delayed today because they didn’t have enough votes to pass it. When he heard that, Obama called Trump and said, “Don’t worry, Obamacare covers depression. So don’t worry about it.” –Jimmy Fallon

At one point, Congress was prepared to vote as late as 3:00 a.m. Congressmen called their wives, told them not wait up, then they called their mistresses and said, “See ya at 3:00!” –Jimmy Fallon

Trump was on the phone last night until almost midnight, calling Republicans to try to switch their votes on the bill. All the calls started the same way: “You have a collect call from — don’t hang up, loser!” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html